Since we can’t control our emotions, why do so many of us force ourselves to be happy 24/7 and when we’re not, “it- punish us”?
If there’s one thing most people are looking for and want, it’s to be happy. Of course, this “happiness” is different for each person – for some it means professional success while for others it may be romantically related – but at the end of the day, everyone wants to spend their lives feeling happy and content with what they have. around him.
However, for some others the desire to be happy has become more of a need and less of a desire. Social media has created a virtual wave of self-improvement content, and now happiness represents a status.
As a result, many have come to the conclusion that not being happy or being sad is more a result of personal failure than what it really is: an inevitable part of being human.
Of course, it’s not wrong to try to lift your mood when it’s down, but trying to convince yourself that he always wants and needs to be happy is a goal you won’t be able to achieve – on the contrary, it can make you feel worse
The need to feel happy 24/7
According to Sharnade George who is a psychologist, author and founder of “Culture Therapy”, an online psychoanalysis program, this modern need to feel happy 24/7 is a kind of “emotional perfectionism”. He also warns that trying to avoid negative emotions such as sadness and anger is not only unrealistic but can prevent us from dealing with various issues in our lives in the future.
Furthermore, he explains that wanting to feel only one emotion strictly – in this particular case happiness – often means that we have a lack of understanding of the value of other emotions. “Every negative emotion is a sign that we are moving a step toward some problem that needs our attention.”
As he also explains, forcing ourselves to be happy all the time can lead us to a negative state where we constantly have a feeling of dissatisfaction and an anxiety to be perfect. This leads us to feel remorse because we experience a perfectly normal range of emotions, be it anger, sadness, fear or disgust.
How to manage it
Just because there is no quick way to reverse this “emotional perfectionism” Sharnade advises that there are some things we can do little by little to change this attitude, starting with an “emotional reflection”.
We can, for example, give ourselves the freedom and time to feel and listen to each emotion, and to experience the effect of each one individually within the framework of our body.
For others, it works better to write down or describe their feelings out loud because it’s like self-reflection. If of course it is so difficult, it is good to consult a psychologist to guide us more and more individually.
Managing emotional perfectionism may not seem like a huge step or a difficult situation, but it’s now clear that being pressured to look and feel happy 24/7 will take a bigger toll on us later.
Don’t forget that it is completely normal to experience all emotions on a monthly, weekly or even daily basis, and if at the end of the day you deny yourself the opportunity to feel them properly, the result in the future will be to feel worse .
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With a wealth of experience honed over 4+ years in journalism, I bring a seasoned voice to the world of news. Currently, I work as a freelance writer and editor, always seeking new opportunities to tell compelling stories in the field of world news.
