Let’s face it. All of us have more or less wondered if it was love or a one night stand. He was the one who confused you and made you feel something more. It was she who, at the beginning of your acquaintance, confronted you with this dilemma. But where does the difference lie?

You will tell me that in love we have the feeling, while in sex exclusively the sexual intercourse and ideally the physical satisfaction. All this is good, and while we have just put them in their boxes, history has shown that it is not so simple to separate them after all. Because as the well-known song says: “Another love and another sex, another I want and another you want”. You can easily search for the continuation of the lyrics.

But the matter is different. The point is to discover the signs that we can confirm that we are making love and that eventually, perhaps what started as a good bed, changes through the act of love itself. Or not.

  • talk to me tenderly

In contrast to “talk dirty to me”, here the most obvious sign is words of tenderness and love during sexual intercourse. Otherwise, it’s back to “talk dirty to me” or don’t talk to me at all. In the case of a simple love act, the process involves an absence of emotion and almost procedurally the verbal communication seeks nothing more than to be prosaic.

  • 100% physical contact

What is involved in a simple meeting? Pleasure, climax, personal satisfaction. If now to all this we add the desire for full-body touches, if we want to share “flaws” and “perfect” caresses, if we feel like we can’t keep our hands off that face and that body, then yes , the step towards something more emotional has already been made.

  • Before and after sex

The well-known triptych “Spray, wipe, you’re done” is a good phrase to describe what love doesn’t look like. The time you seek or long to spend together before and after, whether it’s cuddling, talking, or sleeping, is an important sign of a stronger connection. And it may not be synonymous with love, concern, interest and care, but it certainly is.

  • “If you like it, I like it”

In general, my satisfaction comes significantly from yours as well. If our mind is only on the bed, then really, we will care little about the pleasure of the other. If, on the other hand, we find that we take the time to ask how he/she feels, what he/she likes and of course what we like, it is a significant difference between love and simple lovemaking.

  • “I like your mind”

First of all, let’s say that you won’t find a better compliment, and secondly, let’s admit that the comments about how sexy we are, how good lovers we are, and so on, are nice, but all of this is about a basic menu of romantic “meeting”. If accompanied by all this, one of the two or both of them constantly mention elements of the other’s personality, if they praise the way of thinking but also of expression, then yes, this is a successful recipe which shows that one of the two or both of them they are interested in much more.

  • Kiss

I will be expected, maybe even cynical but I confess that I will never get tired of saying how important the value of a kiss is. The absence of it in sex is ok, since kissing creates intimacy so you realize that not everyone is looking for that. If, on the other hand, kisses become permanent, if they seem more interesting than sex, then guess what? It underlies emotion.

  • “Shall I tell you a little with my eyes?”

Don’t get confused. We may say that eye contact is a sign of sexual attraction, but that prolonged eye contact that makes us feel like we want to open up or say everything to the person we are interested in, while trying to explore the other person’s gaze, is not exists in simple sex. So if there is love somewhere in the background, you can easily make eye contact with your eyes. If it sounds unnatural, ask people who have experienced it. Maybe you’ll learn something, maybe you’ll revise a lot of what you knew until now about relationships.

  • I don’t mind feeling vulnerable

To be able to show without shame how we experience sexual intercourse, to talk about our insecurities, the need not to hide our weaknesses thinking that they might go away if we expose ourselves, is a sign of trust and pleasure which means that in bed we ultimately seek to share something more than the obvious.

  • Hugs, how are we doing?

My beloved ones, because you can learn a lot from them. Maybe most. In sexual intercourse that does not seek something more, the cuddling element may be deliberately avoided so as not to create a deeper connection. On the other hand, if we are looking for a hug, we certainly have a good reason to think that there is something more here than a simple sexual act.

  • If it doesn’t happen once, there will be another

The noticeable difference in the last important remark is that if I want you, and if you want me, and if we don’t want to get closer, then that’s ok. Because I want you and you want me and because sex is too little to describe the something more that has been created between us. Sometimes (I’m sure you’ve noticed) you just need to feel strongly about certain things. And let them stay in the feeling.

A recent trip to Italy, a book and its author, were enough to lead me to the following phrase: “The difference between love and sex is that the latter relieves tension, while love causes it.” So if that doesn’t sum it all up, then what does? Thank you Woody Allen. Mainly for that orange cover of yours.