In the most ideal cases, work occupies 1/3 of our day, therefore an important part of our life. It is an integral part of who we are, but also of the role we have assumed in society.

In fact, most of us spend more time working than anticipated, so it’s easy to realize that work often takes center stage in our lives. It is therefore not surprising that the relationships formed in this context are important and affect our daily life, personality and psyche.

Often, we end up spending more time with our colleagues than with our loved ones, so they become a kind of informal family. It is not an exaggeration, but a fact.

“The time we spend every day at work is what makes working relationships so importantsays Bayu Prihandito, life coach and founder of self-improvement platform Life Architekture. “They often affect our job satisfaction, stress levels and overall mood, which in turn determine our mental health in different ways».

The Zoe Report gathered expert opinions on the important and complex dimensions of relationships that develop at work, explaining why they affect us so deeply.

Shared time and experiences

“As in any other relationship, shared experiences create a strong bond between colleagues“, says Lauren Cook-McKay, marriage and family counselor. “Shared projects, overcoming challenges, successes and even failures create a collective narrative, unique to each group of people». Even if the experiences are traumatic or stressful, they forge stories and shared narratives that “they can create camaraderie and foster a sense of belonging, which contributes significantly to a person’s emotional well-being».

Positive self-image

Each of us presents a different side of ourselves in the work environment. “We present a certain image in the workplace, that of competence or expertise, gaining a degree of ‘conformity’ with others.” says psychologist Jeanette Raymond. “This makes us feel connected while boosting our self-esteem. It is, in fact, possible that in your work environment you derive different emotions from those you feel at home and in your interpersonal relationships“, she adds.

Cook-McKay explains: “Strong working relationships strengthen our professional identity and the way we perceive ourselves, helping to strengthen self-esteem, but also a sense of belonging and purpose».

Business development

Of course, work friendships can play a key role in how we develop professionally. Daily encouragement in the work environment gives a great boost. “Positive relationships with colleagues provide constructive feedback, enhancing personal growth, self-esteem and satisfaction”, concludes Prihandito.

Conflicts and toxicity

Of course, no road is paved with rose petals. Constant interaction with other people creates closeness, but at the same time it can also cause certain conflicts or toxic dimensions, which affect our psyche just as significantly. “Workplace conflict often leads to intense stress and even burnout,” explains Kalley Hartman, a marriage and family counselor. “These toxic workssocial relationships can take many forms, such as bullying, harassment, verbal abuse, mistreatment or lack of support’. A negative workplace culture can also foster a general atmosphere “mistrust, lack of communication and hostility, which makes it difficult to work effectively and cooperatively».

“Family” Dynamics

As strange as it may seem, experts argue that the way we interact with our colleagues largely reflects how we manage our interpersonal relationships as well. “Our family dynamics or the way we perceive ourselves in relationships is also reflected in our work relationshipssays therapist Karina Diaz. “Old, bad work experiences don’t affect us as much as our family or love relationships. Thus, the quality of relationships we have at home reflects the one we have at work. How we manage conflict at work is often not far from how we deal with crises outside the workplace».

Psychologist Nancy Irwin argues that often, family issues such as sibling rivalry or attention-seeking from a “maternal or paternal figure” are often reflected in our relationships with colleagues. “We are also more likely to show understanding to colleagues than to our own people because there is less emotional involvement.”

Emotional outlet

Finally, another apparent paradox is that the workplace also functions as an emotional outlet. This became particularly evident after the confinement due to the pandemic and telecommuting, which all indicate that it is here to stay. And while it has several advantages, it sometimes causes a feeling of intense loneliness: Colleagues are not next to you to share successes and concerns, and your own people are not able to fully identify with the feelings that work issues cause you, he explains Cook-McKay. “Thus, an environment in which we regularly interact with the same group of people provides the foundation for building meaningful relationships».