Have you ever met people who are always in a good mood and never complain about anything? Usually, such people are always relaxed and pleasant to communicate with. They treat everyone with respect and stand up for themselves when needed. Their energy, you feel like it invites you to be around them. You may also find that the people I describe never rely on anyone for anything. They have no need to feel accepted or to conform. They are fine on their own and stand out in a crowd. They are unstoppable and largely unaffected.

You might be thinking “what’s so different about them?”. They just love themselves. Very. They always follow their heart and always evolve by growing up. Their struggles are the same as so many others, but they have learned to love themselves so deeply, they seem to have no problems.

Why is self-love related to acceptance of others?

Many of us often define self-worth and self-love by the validation we receive from our social circle. We may not like to admit it, but we feel the need to be appreciated and accepted. This gives us the illusion that we are not alone at the end of the day. But the paradox of the matter is that as soon as you stop caring what other people think, they suddenly care about you a little more. When we begin to love ourselves a little more each day, we begin to free our spirit from the need for constant external validation.

Imagine a garden inside your soul, where the flowers of self-esteem bloom and have rich colors. As you tend to this garden, you realize that the fragrance of self-love brightens your day. You wonder why you were so willing to tend to someone else’s garden when all you had to do was water your own flowers to “fill” your life. The richer your garden becomes, the less you thirst for external praise, approval or care. And correspondingly, the more you love yourself, the less you will expect others to do the same.

It is liberating when we begin to love ourselves more. We are now a whole person as we discover the stages of life. Everything starts with us. The way we treat ourselves will teach others how to treat us. And if they don’t, there will be no place for them in our lives. By loving ourselves, we even begin to love others wholeheartedly because we are comfortable with who we are and what we do. This kind of self-love is attractive.

Small steps to walk in the direction of self-love

Of course, this is easy to say and difficult to do, since we tend to be our own harshest judges. We constantly live in expectations and comparisons, from which we cannot free ourselves. However, in the midst of it all, we can certainly love ourselves more.

You can start treating yourself the way you would like to be treated. Don’t expect understanding or respect from anyone, if you haven’t felt it for yourself first. Bring the change you want without caring if they will follow. Talk about what you desire, claim what you dream of, start taking care of yourself. Be your biggest supporter, your most loyal fan.