The reparenting it started out as just another term that became ‘fashionable’, however it soon proved to be something we really need to deal with. If we were to choose a short definition of the concept, we would describe it as providing yourself with the emotional support you lacked as a child from your caregivers.

What does this mean practically? The answer varies, as does the way each of us was raised and raised.

Taking a quick look at new parents, you might notice that parenting has changed. A movement that has been growing in recent years is conscious parenting. This is a parenting style that focuses on teaching children how to learn and develop as independent beings rather than obeying adults and following predetermined rules. In short, new parents try to teach their children to feel, recognize and regulate their emotions, rather than canceling them out.

However, this parenting style did not always exist. Meanwhile, many of us grew up in a completely different way, with our emotions often dismissed and our reactions treated as exaggerated or dramatic. Our parents tried to teach us that these feelings are a weakness and should be suppressed before they are even expressed, because they make others feel uncomfortable and reveal personal problems that we would do well to resolve.

This results in many of us being unable, to this day, to effectively validate or regulate our emotional experiences. The consequences of this parenting style, however, do not stop there, but create fertile ground for a number of other phenomena, such as low self-esteem and negative self-talk.

All of this has been largely determined by the relationship we formed with our caregivers. Humans are observant learners. The behaviors we see others engage in are often the ones we adopt. If, for example, you are harshly critical of yourself, it is very likely that you have judgmental parents. If the people who raised you didn’t teach you how to calm down and relieve your stress, you may never have developed these skills.

So this is where reparenting comes into our lives: “Feedback” is the process that invites you to teach yourself as an adult now what you were not taught as a child. It’s about giving yourself everything you needed growing up, but didn’t get.

How is this possible?

Step 1. Determine what you need

You may not even know what your needs are if you are not used to taking care of yourself. Satisfying needs is like a muscle, built over time.

  • A glimpse into the past: Take stock of your childhood and remember the times you felt you didn’t have the support you needed. What would you do if you could go back in time? How would you talk to yourself? What would you like to hear? What would make you feel better?
  • Returning to the present: Think of some situations that happened recently. If you were dealing with a loved one, how would you support them? Do you do the same for yourself? Recognizing your “love language” and how you prefer to give and receive love and support can help you understand how to meet your emotional needs.

Step 2: Change the relationship with yourself

How do you react when faced with difficult emotions? What are your thoughts on what you are experiencing? Do you allow yourself to feel them or do you punish and criticize him for it?

Maybe it’s time to practice re-establishing your relationship with yourself and your emotions. Instead of playing the role of strict judge because you were taught to do so by your parents, adopt an attitude that works best for you. What would make you feel good? That’s what you do. Before you get into a problem-solving process, make sure your inner child knows it’s okay to experience difficult feelings now and then.

Change may feel awkward at first, but eventually you will find that it is for your own good. You will learn to support your mental health more effectively, to care for and manage your emotions and to better understand your needs. When you can rely on yourself, life becomes simpler.