‘It was very difficult and lonely’, says Fernanda Bande, Loba from BBB 24, about solo motherhood

by

Maria Paula Giacomelli

It’s been just over a month since Fernanda Bande, 32, from Niteroi, left the house of BBB 24 (Globo), but until now she hasn’t had time to properly enjoy her children, Marcelo, 11, and Laura, 6. After leaving the program , according to her, life has been limited to work and commitments that keep coming.

This, however, is one of the reasons that will make this Mother’s Day so special. Loba, as she became known on the reality show, will be in the fight, fulfilling a schedule in São Paulo. But, after a transformative period that forever changed her way of seeing the world, she is happy to be able to provide what she always wanted for her private pack.

The fear she felt upon being eliminated, without knowing what the future held for her and her family, turned into relief. With 2.6 million followers on social media, she has been one of the most requested participants in the latest edition of BBB for advertising. Furthermore, she was hired by Multishow to present a program alongside Pitel, an ally in the game who became a friend for life.

Even with all the good news, Fernanda says she doesn’t take anything for granted. “The fight will only end when I win, and I haven’t won yet”, she says to F5.

During confinement, the model and baker won loyal fans with her quick, honest (and, at times, a little foul-mouthed) manner. She drew attention by defending tooth and nail her stay in the game and spoke, without any romanticization, about what it’s like to be a single mother of two children — one of them, Marcelo, on the autistic spectrum.

Fernanda discovered her first pregnancy at the age of 19, two months after ending a relationship. The period, she says, was extremely painful. Before the interview begins, the ex-BBB press office asks that the report not ask about the boy’s father. In the conversation, Fernanda does not mention him and makes it clear that she does not have a good relationship with her ex.

“It was very difficult and lonely. It wasn’t a phase in which I was happy, I became very fragile and closed myself off from everyone,” he says. “People warned me about Marcelo before, but as I was very vulnerable, I saw evil in everything. I thought: ‘You’re not going to call my son crazy’, which was pure prejudice. When the school talked to me, I got into it. panic, but I took him to the doctor.”

She remembers that dedicating her life to someone else was not something that started at that moment. In her youth, she already took care of her younger brother, Gabriel, who is seven years younger than her and, today, works on her team.

“During my adolescence, I had to take care of him, my mother raised me that way”, he explains. “I couldn’t get a boyfriend if I didn’t take my brother to my boyfriend’s house, for a walk. I took him to school, went to meetings, helped him with his homework, gave him food…”

In this way, putting yourself as a priority was left for later. “I never knew myself as a woman in my life. I was always one of the children”, says Fernanda. “I never had a weekend of my own after becoming a mother, I never went anywhere alone. And, before them, I was Gabriel’s.”

Gastronomy emerged in the midst of this period of uncertainty and fear. As she no longer had friends — her old ones were just enjoying college and getting their first job —, she started taking small confectionery courses, as she always liked eating sweets.

“There’s a sweet shop near my house here in Niterói, I loved the sweets there and my father always brought me one. But it got expensive, until one day he said I should take a course, get out of the house for a bit. I did it, with a huge belly, and I met women who hugged me at that moment”, he recalls fondly.

The knowledge only became an enterprise after Laura’s pregnancy. Fernanda needed money and, after making a corn cake to lift her mood on a bad day, she had a moment and started investing in the confectionery business. It was the salvation of the scenario she was in. “I struggled to make and deliver, but I enjoyed it. The children helped me in the kitchen, producing, packaging, decorating and went with me to deliver”, she says.

When she was accepted to BBB, Fernanda decided to take a risk and agreed with Laura’s father that the girl would spend a week with him and a week with her maternal grandparents. Marcelo stayed with her parents the entire time.

With the positive balance of the experience, she realizes that she didn’t need to take so much pressure on what life would try to resolve. “I still carry a lot of pain. I could have been more positive and kinder to myself, I was hurt and mistreated a lot”, she assesses.

Today, although an increase in the family is not in the plans, she says she would take the mission more lightly. “I don’t see myself having another child, but if the third one came, I already know how to do it. The experience brings me comfort.”

Source: Folha

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