Etiquette should be a school curriculum, says Fátima Scarpa, sister of Chiquinho, the enemy of the poor

by

Anahi Martinho

Anyone familiar with the show ‘Friends’ may remember Courteney Cox’s character, Monica Geller, separating her dining sets into several categories: everyday, visit, fancy visit, special visit and visit from Queen Elizabeth II.

For socialite and etiquette consultant Fátima Scarpa, who grew up amidst dinners and parties with high society guests, none of this is necessary. It’s really cool to use your silver cutlery even to eat a brigadeiro.

Daughter of industrialist Francisco Scarpa, heir to the founder of the Votorantim group and the former Rio Claro brewery, and socialite Patsy Scarpa, Fátima (Fafá, to those close to her) grew up obeying the strictest rules of etiquette. Today, she considers herself flexible, but she passes on the knowledge of the “social skills” acquired in her family on an Instagram page where she has more than half a million followers.

“My father and mother were an example of education and hospitality. I’m proud to have captured all of this”, he says, in an interview with F5. “My father wouldn’t admit asking the employees for a glass of water without saying please and thank you. If we didn’t ask please, they wouldn’t even bring it,” she remembers. Francisco Scarpa lived 103 years and had three children with his wife, Patsy: Fátima, Chiquinho and Renata.

One of Renata’s sons, Eduardo Scarpa Julião, married heiress Caroline Celico, ex-wife of football player Kaká. It was Celico who introduced Fátima to the world of social networks.

“My godson Eduardo asked me for help organizing the silverware. When I arrived it was a mess: several different sets of crockery, glasses, cutlery. He left two people at my disposal and said I could do whatever I wanted. I threw everything away, I asked where were the silver cutlery and the English china that he inherited from his grandmother and I said: ‘These are the ones you’re going to use’. We don’t have to keep the best for visits, we have to use them on a daily basis”, she states, convinced.

Carol Celico liked the tip and invited Fafá to participate in a video on her channel. It was so successful that she decided to professionalize her own networks. Fafá already has, in total, 650,000 followers on Instagram and 160,000 on TikTok, has her own vignettes and visual identity and has a team of advisors prepared to protect her from any tight fit.

KNOW HOW TO SEND

“Etiquette and politeness should be taught at school”, argues Fafá. “There is a lack of this on the market”, she notes, who, however, prefers to teach the teachings only in her home. “I train my employees and that’s it. I’ve been asked to teach, but I don’t do it at all. It’s such a laborious and boring thing to have to explain everything,” she says. “I teach only to my own people.”

Fafá’s number one rule when training his team is knowing how to do the tasks. With her, there’s no such thing as just focusing on theory. “If you don’t know how to do it, you don’t know how to order it”, she teaches. “I know how to do everything, I even know how to wash a car, if I need to,” she says.

Fafá is proud of having the same employees for decades and considers his team to be lean. “Today it’s not like it used to be, when they had several employees, things were much easier. It doesn’t make sense to have that bunch of people that we had before”, she says, who dismissed the cook when she realized that she was doing all the work. meals outside the home. “She complained that she had nothing to do.”

“My guard and my driver have been with me for 40 years and my maid and housekeeper have been with me for 20 years. I’m the one who teaches everything, and there’s no point in coming here saying that ‘so-and-so’s house did it like this’. I don’t even want to know what it was like in the other house I even prefer to take someone who doesn’t know anything, who arrived from Bahia yesterday, because then I teach my way”, he says.

TOGETHER AND MIXED

In a recent podcast interview, Chiquinho Scarpa spoke unceremoniously about the hatred he feels towards those who don’t have money. “I don’t like poverty. Every poor person is always asking for something. The worst thing about a poor person is when you come and say: ‘How are you?’ Then you’re toast. He spends half an hour distilling all the problems”, he said.

This Friday (7), Chiquinho went public to justify himself. “The podcast is a humor program, I am very sorry for the inconvenience and interpretations of the character I played during the interview.”

Fátima says she is an enthusiast of income distribution. “On the one hand, I like the changes in the world. I think it’s good that we no longer have such a big difference between people. Before there was a lot of distance between those who had money and those who didn’t. Today everything is very mixed. I think it’s great”, he says.

“Now, what I can’t stand is a lack of respect. I hate people saying bad words. For me, bad words are the end of the stick. The lack of politeness bothers me a lot. I’m no expert in Portuguese, but saying ‘vamo’, ‘tamo’ , I think it’s complicated.”

What Fátima says she values ​​goes beyond her bank account. For her, respect cannot be bought: it can be learned. “There are very rich people without the slightest education. And they still say that what matters is having money. I don’t think that’s the case,” she protests.

WOMAN DOES NOT ADDRESS THE WAITER

In some of her recent posts, the socialite stars alongside Chiquinho. Generally, in the series “Fafá Ensina”, in which she leaves her home to show how to behave in public environments, with her brother as a supporting character. In one of the videos, she gives a lesson on the correct place to leave the napkin when, in a restaurant, the diner needs to leave the table: “On the chair”; The chair is pulled delicately by his brother.

In another post, he commits the sin of addressing the waiter directly. “I would like a Pêra-Manca”, he asks the restaurant employee for the wine, just like that, in the female form. Big mistake. ‘Fátima, never talk to the waiter”, recriminates Chiquinho, in a monotone.

“It’s always the man who has to order the drinks”, he says, demonstrating how it’s done: “So, please, a white Pêra Manca wine”. He also asks the housekeeper for a still water “for Fátima”, and a sparkling water for himself. “Obviously, if there are only women at the table, each one will order her own drink. But whenever I’m with a man, I order it from him.”

These are common mistakes, which Fátima says she ignores. Using your cell phone at the table is something you can’t put up with. The socialite considers the habit rude and unacceptable. And she cites a recent episode, almost eclipsed by yet another lack of education from the same family, in scenes that left her extremely irritated.

“The other day, we were having dinner at Caviar Kaspia [Jardins] and at the next table there was a father with his son. They ordered a huge amount of caviar for two people, which is already wrong. The boy and his father wouldn’t get off the phone. One didn’t speak to the other. The father helped himself to the caviar, added the cream with a knife instead of a spoon and even licked the blade”, she says, horrified.

“But I’m not going to change anyone,” he sighs. “It’s natural, life changes. We can’t want everything to stay the same. I have to adapt.”

Widow of Wladimir Nikolaef, Fátima lives with her daughter Patsy, her son-in-law and her nine-year-old grandson. “We have to listen to young people so we don’t miss out on things. My grandson is very polite, I’ve never heard this boy scream”, she is proud.

Source: Folha

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