Theoretically, organizing and planning should make life easier, but to what extent does this actually happen?
Many of us enjoy, and are proud of, our love of planning – whether it’s preparing meals all week or whatever. Planning is generally safe – it would be nice to have goals and plans.
But for some of us, planning is an unhealthy and marginally obsessive habit.
“As women, we often have many roles in our lives. “This can create the desire to control every aspect to ensure that we are above everything.” Laura Caunter, member of the Life Coach Directory. “When we plan, we feel in control and that helps us deal with anxiety about the consequences and the results. “Often, the need to be in control of the consequences and results can lead to over-planning.”
An “obsessive programmer” is someone who has to be in control of everything from start to finish, Laura adds. “They may not be interested in other people’s views or ideas and they like to organize everything in their own way.” This can lead to unrealistic expectations for the result, he adds. “They can put too much pressure on themselves to get everything going perfectly and the idea that something can not be planned can panic them.”
Personal development expert Tammy Whalen Blake has taken the planning habit to the next level by starting a business helping others make plans. For her own life, Tammy has a 10-year plan, a five-year plan, a one-year plan, a quarterly, a monthly plan, and a daily plan, which is sometimes hourly.
“Determination and personal growth are core values for me, and for that to happen, you have to plan,” says Tammy. “I would not describe [τη σχέση μου με τον προγραμματισμό] as obsessive, but rather substantial “. However, he says that it can often reach some “obsessive limits”. When planning events for her social circle, Tammy usually thinks of a “plan”, that is, an agenda. As for her love affairs, the design of her love life led Tammy to find the perfect life partner after she designed what she calls the bar chart “Mr 100%”. If potential mates did not meet the minimum threshold for any category of Tammy – including attractiveness, good health, intimacy and more – it would not go ahead.
“The dating process became enjoyable and allowed me to communicate what is important to me and my relationship,” explains Tammy.
However, scheduling is not always productive. But, when exactly does a programming habit turn from harmless fun into an unhealthy and destructive habit?
“When the need to be in complete control prevails over everyone else,” says Laura. Signs to look out for include stress caused by excessive anxiety, feelings of frustration or anger, and lack of flexibility – not being able to take into account the views or ideas of others – which can lead to spasmodic relationships with friends, loved ones or colleagues. “It is important to make plans, otherwise life disorganizes and disorients you. However, when planning becomes a basic habit in one’s life, that habit becomes unhealthy “, adds Yuko Nippoda, psychotherapist and representative of the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP).
“It can be unhealthy if people try to plan everything fanatically,” adds Yuko. If one makes a detailed vacation plan much earlier, say, if one is constantly making lists and thinking of contingency plans B or C in case plan A goes wrong. To them, it’s almost like the Bible being their to-do list. ”
«My advice would be to set realistic goals“, Says Laura. “Often, over-planning can create big, unattainable goals that lead to feelings of failure when not achieved within a certain time frame. “When we set realistic, achievable goals and give ourselves the right time to complete them, it creates even more motivation and increases productivity.”
Look inward and ask: do you make plans that bring you joy and comfort or do you feel compelled to plan everything out of fear and consider it an extra burden? According to Yuko: “If you enjoy making plans and gaining energy by doing so, it is healthy, but if this habit becomes annoying and affects your life, you may need to seek help.”
As Yuko says “no one is perfect and it’s okay to make mistakes. It is much more productive if planning is considered a fun activity. Then you can relax and be happy regardless of the consequences “.
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