Too often we complain that we can not stand people who complain, because they make us tired, use us or want to make us feel sorry for them.
Of course, the fact that we ourselves are complaining does not even cross our minds, at least when we do. And when we finally admit that we do it, it means that there is a serious reason and we are nothing professional grumpy like the others.
But why are we really complaining?
Complaint is a sign of annoyance or reaction when things do not go as we expected or should. We feel injustice, anger, irritability and generally we are drowning in our right and we need to express it. However, beneath this lurks our fear of the unknown, of the fact that things have gone awry somewhere and we are no longer in control. And that’s where the good begins.
We start making a whole drama in our head, about “how unlucky we are” and “how difficult things are” and “Why my god let it be like this” and many more. So this, the drama is the basis of our complaints, which of course we feel we have the right to express, because very simply things should not be like that and of course we are not guilty of anything.
So how do we stop complaining?
The point is, this reaction can become a toxic habit for both us and others. Apart from the fact that we usually tire those around us, desperately looking for confirmation of how right we are and how unfair what happened to us, at the same time we are so consumed and over-analyzing the issue that in the end it is impossible to find a solution or even skip it.
Trying to stop complaining might be the obvious solution. Many people have tried to do a detox from the complaints, a “Complaints Diet”, during which they had set a limit to a certain period, in which they would abstain from this habit. Did he succeed? Maybe yes, in the sense that this is a very nice exercise for our self-control. Maybe not, because we can put another limit on ourselves.
Is complaining positive in the end?
Complaining and realizing that we are complaining is perhaps a form of psychotherapy. Of course, one would ask how the problem can be the solution to this problem. First of all, by making a complaint, it means that something is bothering us and so we enter a phase of tracing what it may be. Once we find what really causes us a problem, we automatically get into a position to solve it. This is the beginning of an important process, of consciousness, of being aware of ourselves and our actions. In this way, the source of the complaint becomes the occasion for a new perspective of things, for a new way of managing our problems.
From theory to practice
First it is good to accept what we can not change. At this point, it is very important to realize that something went wrong, that is, to accept the negative vibe and give us time to recover. However, sorting in is important and what not, it never hurt anyone. For example, we can think about whether this drama is really worth living, if in relation to other people and situations, our problem is really serious….
But what we can change is the way we manage it. If we manage to overcome all this panic that has gripped us, then we can reverse the situation and make it more positive and productive for us. At the same time, by mitigating our reactions a little, reducing our whining and complaints, we will be able to listen to others. A friendly tip never hurt anyone. Maybe they can give us the solution to our problem or comfort us and support us.
Let’s not forget that complaining is also an inner need for communication. Regardless of how and why, the complaint can be the beginning of a constructive dialogue, a friendly conversation or even a new acquaintance. As long as we do not exaggerate and it becomes positive.
read more
Oscars 2022: The year of Andrew Garfield
Lily in Scandinavia: The Scandinavian countries through the honeymoon of Lily Collins and Charlie McDowell
Savoir Ville
Follow Skai.gr on Google News
and be the first to know all the news
