The unusual explanation of the judge who authorized the boy to have a mother and two fathers

In 2019, a woman from Salta, in northern Argentina, had a baby with her partner, with whom she had lived for a year.

A few months later, without notifying her boyfriend, she contacted an ex-partner to say that she believed the child was his. A DNA test confirmed that this man was the real biological father.

Shortly after this revelation, the woman died and the ex-partner appeared in court to ask that he be recognized as the child’s real father.

What could have ended up as a dramatic experience turned out to be a moving story in Argentina.

“It was a taste of what true love is,” the judge who presided over the case, Ana María Carriquiry, head of the Family Court in Salta, told BBC News Mundo.

In an unusual decision, Carriquiry authorized that both men – both the biological father and the adoptive father – have the paternity of the minor, who is now 3 years old.

Thus, little P. – as he is identified in the case – will have the peculiarity of being officially the son of a mother and two fathers.

The judge explained her decision to the boy through a letter that he will be able to read when he is older.

The message, widely reproduced and acclaimed on social media and in the Argentine press, uses simple language and includes a quote from one of the most beloved sagas in children’s literature: Harry Potter.

the case

The judge said that when she received the case – which has now gone viral but happened in August 2021 – the situation was not as peaceful as it would later become.

“When the biological father started the action, he came with everything,” recalled Carriquiry. In the initial request, the biological father asked that the other man’s paternal acknowledgment be annulled and given to him.

The judge also says that the child’s so-called “socio-affective father” was devastated when he discovered through court-ordered DNA testing that he was not, in fact, P’s biological father.

“Imagine the state of despair of that man. I thought he would not come to the second hearing”, confessed the judge, who was moved by his attitude, who had just lost his partner and at the same time learned that her son was not biologically your.

Far from being irritated and assuming a combative posture, the man surprised her with his response to the process.

“He asked to remain the father, even with the other father, and said he didn’t care if his last name was the boy’s second, third or fourth.”

“He spoke firmly, with love, with a resignation… this man gave lessons on love and what it means to be a father”, the judge was moved.

Carriquiry supported his request, allowing for the possibility that the child had a triple parentage, something that is not recognized in the Argentine Civil Code, although there are few precedents, both in Argentina and abroad.

The only thing missing was for the biological father – whom Argentine law considers the only one with a legal right to paternity – to agree.

The man’s change of position came when the judge summoned the boy to a hearing, even though he was only 2 years old at the time.

“When I let the child in, he hugged his only father to him, his socio-affective father. And there everyone was silent,” he said.

“Though he didn’t speak, he expressed himself. Without saying anything, he spoke loudly. With his body language, he left no doubt that getting him out of there was doing real harm, because he had already suffered from the recent loss of your mother.”

“When the biological father saw this, he himself said, ‘I want what benefits my son the most, what’s best for him.'”

“It was very commendable to see the two men put their pride aside for that boy. It was a sign of true love.”

The two parents have agreed that the minor will continue to live with the adoptive father and will progressively relate to the biological father, who will also help support the boy financially.

“We have to start opening paths, because for me, socio-affective relationships determine people’s lives and the law. which limits paternity to just two people (mother and father).

The letter

In her ruling, the judge ruled that men have an obligation to tell the boy the truth about his story, when “he is mature enough.”

And, observing legal protocol, she also decided to attach to the sentence the letter she herself wrote for P. to read when she grew up.

“I am writing to you because you have the right to know what I decided and why I did it,” she explains to the child.

“It’s up to judges to make tough decisions, but your case was very simple because what’s left is your parents’ love for you,” she says in the message.

She references the boy’s late mother, with a quote from JK Rowling: “About his mother, who is unfortunately no longer with us, I want to leave the sentence that Albus Dumbledore said to little Harry Potter.”

“A love as powerful as the one your mother had for you is something that leaves marks. Not a scar, or any other visible sign… to have been loved so deeply, even if that person who loved us is not here, provides protection. that lasts forever.”

“In addition to your mother, you have two fathers. How can that be possible? Also out of love. They both love you equally and are your parents.”

“Sometimes you have to decide between the biological father or the socio-affective father. In this case, I had nothing to decide, because they were sure of the importance that the other had in their life.”

“That’s why the only thing I did, P., was to recognize the right you have to have two parents who raise you, take care of you. Because, deep down, the only thing that matters is to multiply love”, he concluded.

“I hope you are very happy and always proud of your mother and the parents that life has given you.”