Most working parents experience burnout, study finds

It’s been two years since parents living and working in the United States have been exhausted, almost at their wits’ end — punished by the stress of distance schooling, the closure of daycare centers, economic instability and social isolation.

A study that has just been released says that 66% of working parents meet the criteria for parental burnout — a non-clinical term that means they are so exhausted by the pressure of caring for their children that they feel like they have nothing left to do. to give.

Published Thursday by researchers at Ohio State University, the study is based on an online survey conducted between January and April 2021 of 1,285 working fathers and mothers. The research draws a short picture of a different time, when the US was mired in lockdowns due to the pandemic.

But its authors believe that parental burnout is perpetuated because working parents don’t have enough practical structural support to overcome relentless stress, which isn’t abating. Any parent can experience burnout, but the study focuses on working parents who, the researchers say, are at particular risk of burnout.

“Parental burnout is not just going to magically end when the pandemic is over,” said Bernadette Melnyk, dean of the Ohio State University College of Nursing and author of the study. “The chronicity of the pandemic took its toll and exhausted the reserves of strength of many parents, who will require time and patience to grow back.”

What are the signs of parental burnout?

Parental burnout is not a clinical diagnosis that can appear on anyone’s medical record, but many psychologists recognize it as a subtype of burnout, a work-related phenomenon now recognized by the WHO (World Health Organization) as a syndrome. (It is not included in the DSM-5, the so-called “bible” of US psychiatry.)

“As is the case with burnout, parental burnout is defined as physical, emotional and mental exhaustion due to the ongoing demands of caring for children,” said Dr. Jennifer Yen, a psychiatrist at UTHealth Houston.

Of course, parenting is very demanding on parents in all these ways, and it makes it difficult to clearly differentiate between normal periods of stress and burnout.

Yen said parents should watch out for signs such as fatigue, irritability, changes in sleep, appetite and mood, as well as various bodily aches and pains. What sets parental burnout apart is the severity of these symptoms and the extent to which they are affecting the person’s day to day life.

“It’s a state where you’re giving, giving, giving, giving, until you’re completely empty,” commented clinical social worker Kate Kripke, founder of the Postpartum Wellness Center in Boulder, Colorado.

Yen also drew attention to other telltale signs that are specific to parental burnout, such as feeling angry or resentful about having to care for children and starting to physically or emotionally distance themselves from them. Parents with burnout can also feel trapped or weave fantasies about letting go, she added.

The new study may be useful for healthcare professionals, but the researchers wrote it directly for working parents.

The study includes a new scale that the authors hope parents can use to rate how they are doing. It includes ten statements such as: “I wake up exhausted thinking about spending another day with my children” or “I feel like I’m barely surviving as a mother (father)”. Parents can agree or disagree with each statement, on a scale from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree.” They are then given a final score that will help indicate whether or not they have something that researchers would interpret as mild, moderate, or severe burnout.

What to do about parental burnout

Regardless of where they fall on this spectrum, it can be helpful for parents to start by recognizing that many of the challenges they face are beyond their control. It’s impossible to be both a dedicated professional and a dedicated caregiver unless you have the support you need. Self-compassion is important, Melnyk said.

But parents facing burnout may be able to make immediate changes that prevent them from experiencing more severe burnout.

Look for some way to ask for help, the researchers recommended. Ask a family member or a neighbor to take care of your child from time to time, if only to give you a short break. If you are responsible for taking your child to school and other activities, look for other people to share this task with so you don’t get exhausted.

The study found that 68% of working mothers said they were burnt out, compared to 42% of working fathers. So it may be especially important for women to give themselves breaks to rest and ask for help – even if this is neither simple nor easy.

Another thing that can help stressed parents is to seek a sense of calm and tranquility by practicing mindfulness. Research reveals that mindfulness can help reduce parenting stress, and this, in turn, can help improve children’s psychological state. For Kripke, it could be something as simple as you intentionally feeling the sole of your foot on the floor and taking a deep breath.

But taking a deep breath will not solve the problem alone. Those diagnosed with the more severe syndrome should immediately see a general practitioner or mental health professional, who will be able to identify issues such as anxiety and depression.

It’s good to know that some mental health professionals have doubts about the notion of parental burnout.

“It’s the first time I’ve heard that term,” said Dr. Catherine Birndorf, CEO and medical director of the Motherhood Center in New York. She said she likes the concept and idea of ​​the parental burnout scale if it can help parents who otherwise won’t recognize they’re struggling. But she worries that some parents might dismiss what they’re feeling, attributing it to burnout rather than seeking treatment for an underlying condition like anxiety or depression.

Translation by Clara Allain