How to best get what you need

Asking for what you need is not always easy.

Whether in work, friendship or relationships, many of us prefer soldiers rather than admit that we are having a hard time. It seems that we are fine. deal with everything

We all need different things at different stages of our lives. You may need workload support or better communication from the people in our lives. However, it often gets in the way of our reading.

It can be a pride or a fear of becoming a burden. At work, you may worry that asking for help seems as weak as possible. In your relationship, you may believe that asking for what you need is annoying to your partner.

But not asking can be much worse and have lasting consequences. But you are having a hard time asking the people in your life for what you need.

“It’s hard for us to start communicating if we’re not taught how to talk, or if we don’t see it show up when we grow up,” said life coach Zoe. Mallet said.

Talking about our feelings can make us feel helpless and uncomfortable, so avoid keeping yourself “safe.”

Zoe says it can be a bit of a cycle. If you never want to show people that you need help, you never ask for it and it seems to screw everything up.

“If you’re not used to asking for help, you might feel uncomfortable,” Zoe said. “We find our own way to get through it, and just “in passing” makes us feel more pressure not to put a “burden” on anyone.

“People around us study our behavior and begin to think that we can handle everything. That’s why we are creating false expectations. At some point, everyone else. I need someone’s help.”

So how do you find a way to break the cycle and communicate your needs?

Dawn Baxter, psychologist and founder of Beyond The Dawn, affirms that human beings are created as social beings and that it is our essence to support each other, but modern life brings us from the origin of the group, it is separated.

“In 2022, we are used to extreme independence and often wrongly divide the need for support and support into human failings and weaknesses rather than being completely natural,” said Dawn.

“In the midst of the turmoil, we’re also being praised for how we accomplished our solo missions, to reinforce the feeling that asking for a hand in the deck isn’t a big deal.”

“In fact, if you’re the one managing everything alone, breaking this cycle can be a big change.

Dawn says it’s important to have and deal with “lead” moments until everything in your life is stressed and overloaded.

“You must give yourself the right to see a helping hand,” Dawn said. She added that you should start with small changes.

“Consider ways to politely ask for help and redistribute tasks that help,” he says. “Probably the first step is to outsource the laundry or hire a cleaner. It may seem trivial, but for those who are used to going it alone, in their life they can immediately remember the importance of support.

“Also, remember what you can do when someone asks for your help. It is very good to help. By denying people the opportunity to do this for you, you also deny them a sense of well-being.

“After all, no one gets paid to go it alone. There’s no badge of honor because it all rests on your shoulders.”

How to ask for help in case of problems

Once you decide to order the items you need, you should discuss it with your boss, mom, and best friend. No matter who is.

However, if you never allow yourself to ask what you need, you may worry that words will be hard to find or that conversations will conflict.

Zoe suggests writing what you want first.

“Shower yourself with your thoughts and ask yourself what you need help with and why you think you can’t ask people,” he says.

Sometimes we are a little scared, so ask yourself what is the worst possible situation. And is there any evidence that the worst can happen? I do not usually do it.

“Read aloud what you need help with and practice the conversation until you feel comfortable. Then start talking to someone you really trust and care about.

Dawn adds that it’s important to give yourself space and be open and vulnerable.

“Give others the whole picture and let them see how valuable their support and records are,” he said.

“All you need is a delicate balance between respect and honest communication. Do you have trouble reading? Express it! This requirement is not out of your comfort zone and, to be honest, there is no shame that you have effectively evaluated the situation that Presents itself”. with a solution that requires more support from others.

He also says that it would be helpful to have moments that aren’t bigger than they really are.

“It can be a big deal internally, but often those times are for receptive people,” he adds.

How to ask for what you need at work

In a professional setting, people often worry that asking for what they need might be demanding, bossy, and worse, incompetent.

However, too much can lead to burnout, which can further negatively affect employer perceptions in the long run.

Here are some tips for Dawn asking a colleague or boss for help.

• Be clear and concise about what you are looking for.
• Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable or express why you need help.
• Eliminate character flaws that may involve asking for help, such as being demanding or polite.
• Explain the collective victory: why the results are good for all participants.
• Act like a team player: Put yourself on the same level as looking for support team effort.
• If you don’t get support, don’t avoid the facts of the result, what if you don’t get help?

How to request what you need from your loved ones

Relationships with friends and family have much more emotion, history, and baggage than relationships with employers. That is, it can be difficult to ask for help.

It does not have to be like that.

“It is imperative that we look at past fears and use our power to openly address our needs, wants and expectations for support,” says Dawn.

Zoe agrees, repeating that telling you what you need shows courage and self-awareness, not weakness.

“Sometimes we avoid talking to loved ones, that is, we don’t allow them to appear with us,” says Zoe.

“Sometimes you don’t need an answer. You just have to ask someone. Understanding what you expect from your loved one will help you find some answers without pressure. It will help you, you may need to listen to guidance, advice, guidance or just someone.

Here are some tips from Dawn to help your friends, family or associates:

• Be frank about your needs and requirements without accusations.
• Be very clear about what you need.
• Do not bring past stories or dramas from your family.
• Keep your emotions down and respond positively with respect.
• If this is personally important to you, express it, don’t waste the conversation with teasing or jokes.

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