how to never be late

Time management is something that has cost me my whole life.

You’ll never miss a deadline or join a Zoom meeting late, but it’s a different story when you’re busy with time.

I’ve prepared to go out millions of times, but I still have vague ideas about how long it will actually take. There are no traffic lights or traffic jams in my world, so I always spend a minimum amount of time traveling, assuming all is well.

And it doesn’t mean a last-minute break, like when I find a big hole in my pantyhose on the way out, or when I notice a car parked a few streets away. ..

I know I am not alone. My friends fall into two categories: punctual friends who make early promises to me—of course I get it now—and I implicitly say that 11am coffee really happens. A friend who has an agreement. 11.20 (more or less).

My chronic tardiness caused immense stress and put my job and friendship in jeopardy. I’m not going to be bratty, rude, or indifferent, but like many chronically slow people, I don’t seem to have the power to break habits.

So, with the help of some expert advice, can I finally change my behavior?

Why are some people always late?

The first step is to identify the underlying characteristics of persistent tardiness. It’s often a combination of reasons, says experienced clinical psychologist Linda Blair.

“Some people are hesitant to be confident,” Linda said. “They may not have self-confidence and may not want to try something new.

“You can make them get ready and be late.”

If you’re always late for work, it may be worth asking yourself if you’re unhappy with your job or too stressed. Therefore, use an unconscious avoidance strategy. Not being a joke can also be an important factor.

Others are just eternal optimists, automatically believing that they can do whatever they’re trying to do, and nothing can stop them.

Then there are the morbid achievers who want to please everyone and can’t say no, that’s overkill.

Dismantling and carelessness can affect us all, but they are a common characteristic of deviant people, especially those with ADHD.

Many people struggle with executive function, a set of skills responsible for organizations, time management, etc. “Time blindness,” or the inability to control time, can also affect people with ADHD.

Strategy to develop punctuality

“If you have a habit of procrastinating for a long time, your brain is so wired that it’s hard to change it,” said Somia Theman, a CBT and EMDR psychotherapist who works at My Therapy Room. “That’s what you really have to hold onto.”

In fact, according to psychologists, it takes an average of 66 days to break a bad habit.

So how do you do this?

work in an organization

“Some people find it very difficult to get somewhere on time, but that can be improved by practicing,” says Somiya. It is about learning to think about the future.

If you don’t know what to wear or if you don’t have the clothes to wash, you will rarely arrive on time.

“In my house, keys and phones are constantly moving, so make sure you have everything you need before you go to bed.”

In my own experience, confusion inevitably leads to rushing, which only makes you feel slower than before. As my grandmother liked to say, “more acceleration, less speed.” If she’s in a hurry, she’ll likely change her clothes into pantyhose or put on makeup.

Get rid of distractions

It’s easy to think of sending a simple work email before you leave, but it often takes a few minutes longer than you think.

“You have to get in the habit of thinking: Do I have to deal with this now?” says Somia. “In most cases, it can be discussed later.”

It is also important to identify things that can distract you and forget time. For me, this is often a meaningless distraction on social media. I heard that these things should be totally prohibited before going out.

You sympathize with the people waiting for you.

Think about how your tardiness affects others, Linda advises.

If you meet a dentist at 11am, you may have the pain and emotions they will have with the people who will come after you, given that you may have been waiting for a long time. Think about the facts. Timed for a pandemic.

“It’s not compassionate to just think that someone will be mad at you. It’s a subconscious way of telling yourself that you’re important, but it’s actually thinking about the emotions they’re experiencing. It’s not the same as.

learn to say no

The added responsibility between us must set new boundaries, says Linda.

“We all need to take a break from our journaling,” he tells us. “One of the things I want to keep with us through Covid is that it’s good to do a lot.

“Don’t try to please everyone and learn to let go just enough so that you can properly focus on what you’re trying to do.”

Focus on the good points of being early

Most people who are always late are familiar with their bad impressions, but it’s often helpful to focus on the benefits of being early, says Somia.

“It would be great for me if I could take my daughter to school five minutes before the school gates open. It’s a real incentive because I have a good parking space,” she advises. “And being early shows that you are organized, committed and value the meeting or the experience.”

I tried to be an early bird, how was this

I’m definitely a mix of upbeat and disorganized people, so with the tips above, I’m ready to turn the page when I run into a friend who always has time at the theater.

I have to be there at 7pm… oh no, wait. The game starts at 7:00 pm, so you need to be there by 6:45.

Approach like a military operation. The night before, I set an alarm to let Google know what the traffic would be like when I had to travel.

At lunch, check the weather forecast, dress appropriately, go outside and find an umbrella. I set another alarm when I had to start getting ready, doubling the normal time.

At 6:30 I got on the bus and approached the venue and felt very sanctimonious, relaxed and ready for the night.

When a friend arrives, the ticket is ready to be scanned into my phone. I eat and relax in the glasses I bought to take to the auditorium.

The surprise on his face is a photo. I think I’m really getting used to it.

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