Is it good for parents to have a child they like?

It is not uncommon for children to prefer one parent to the other. In fact, most children have a favorite parent at some point…but what about parents who have a favorite child?

Moms and dads love to admit that they couldn’t pick their child better than anyone else.

But the truth may be a bit more complicated.

According to a 2020 survey, 70% of parents admit that they prefer one child to another, so parental favors are more common than many think.

But why does this happen? And do you have any concerns?

Dr. Michel McDowell, a child psychologist, said: Age is one of the reasons why boys are preferred, but research has shown that they are more attractive than other siblings, with similar personalities and similar personalities to their parents who support them. There are several possible reasons, such as. -to worry! “

Parenting coach Natalie Costa, founder of PowerThoughts, says there are other factors as well.

“For example, when a baby is born,” he tells us. “Research shows that the first and last births are more important. Firstborns are given more privileges and firstborns are given more attention and love. Middle-born children can’t help much.

Natalie also points out that as a child gets older, they may not be able to live up to their parents’ expectations and their reputation may decline.

“Perhaps the parents wanted their children to follow a particular path, but their expectations were not met, or external stressors such as mental health issues or broken relationships. It may have been very difficult to bond with the child at birth. because of this,” he says.

It is not uncommon for children to be treated differently in the family from time to time. Michelle points out that this is not the same as parental favor, but instead requires one child to pay more attention than another due to age, developmental stage, or physical and emotional needs. She must do something before continuing.

“Parental favors occur when parents give one child more favors than another, for example, giving them more privileges, more treats/toys, and more for themselves. Set rules and boundaries,” she explains.

“In many cases, the favors are not intentional, but one child may not feel more loved than another, and to add to the complexity, even if the parents do not like the child, recognition of the child is shown. Feeling Disadvantages can be as bad as they really are To do Unfavorable. ‘

The effect of showing favor is not good. As you can imagine, having a favorite can have a long-term negative impact on your child.

Michelle said: “Possible consequences include low self-esteem, rejection, low self-esteem, depression and anxiety.

“A malnourished child can feel hopeless. No matter what he does, he feels that he will never be rewarded with the same attention, affection and care.

“This can affect future relationships, romantic and social relationships, and future work, because kids may feel like they can’t change people’s reactions.”

Likes and dislikes not only affect a child’s self-esteem and self-awareness, but can also negatively affect their relationship with their siblings.

“Remembering childhood favors can be stressful when you become an adult sibling,” explains Michelle. “Surveys show that siblings do much better when they feel they are treated the same or similarly by their parents.”

So how can parents avoid favoring one child over another and support the perception that one child is the least liked?

“The first step is to recognize and feel favors from children,” suggests Michel. Parent awareness is key.

“Then we will take consistent steps to ensure equal treatment for all children so that they feel appreciated and loved.

Natalie agrees that awareness is important. “Be kind to yourself,” she reminds us of herself. “It’s really hard being a parent, and you’re as much a learner of this journey as your child.

“Many times I tell my parents that our children are a mirror of what we have not yet learned and do not accept about ourselves, and one child feels that way with another. It is quite normal.

But it is important that you are aware of this: of your actions and how you react to your child.

Natalia adds, “Be as consistent as possible and be safe if you make a mistake. Be careful and change your behavior. The question that helps some parents is, ‘What can I learn from my child here?’ learn from yourself?”

It may not always be easy, but the source of power is seeing these situations as something to grow and learn from.

“Affiliation is a constant journey of growth and self-discovery, so be kind to yourself when you find a path.”

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