I want to make people happy.
Well, it never comes at the cost of your sanity.
A tendency to please people often stems from the best of intentions. Deep in that pattern, it’s hard to hear that people-pleasing isn’t everything.
But the truth is that persistently pleasing the crowd is not good for us.
While this is true for pleasurable relationships, it’s probably more true when it comes to work.
It shows that people at work are fun.
Tracy Secombe is the author of From People Pleaser To Soul Pleaser and a coach who works to help people connect with who they are meant to be. He discusses some common signs that you might be a people pleaser at work.
- Your emotions really do have ups and downs because they have a lot to do with how people react to what you say and do.
- You feel good when you receive praise, but you feel depressed when you receive negative comments or criticism.
- You overthink every relationship for fear of offending or offending someone.
- I constantly ask myself if my work is good enough
- Keep saying yes to getting more work done, even when you’re completely overwhelmed
- You take pride in being known as someone who always gets things done.
- you take things very personally
- You are a chameleon, and in that moment you shapeshift to become what different people need at work.
- The fear of confrontation makes it difficult to say what you really think and feel.
- You are tired of maintaining the appearance of being well, taking everything in and making everyone happy.
How it is harmful to please people at work
The signs above paint a pretty grim picture – who wants to be overwhelmed and tired?
But to see just how damaging people-pleasing can be, let’s ask Tracy.
“People’s merry emotional roller coaster ride can deplete their sense of energy,” Tracy told Reuters. It can alter concentration and even sleep patterns.
“When pleasing becomes a problem necessary things Your partner will be satisfied with your actions and statements. In other words, you will only feel better if they are happy with what you are doing.
This is an impossible goal. You can’t control the other person’s emotions because they are driven by your perception of what is happening based on past experiences and how you felt before you entered the room.
“The negative effect of feeling responsible for the feelings of others is the effect it has on your own thoughts and feelings.
“This constant stress can affect relationships at home and physical health.”
The benefits of working away from people are great
Nasty people make fun of it, but being stuck in a people-pleaser mindset makes it hard to see the obvious benefits of kicking a habit.
The personal benefits of being away from people are enormous. Your stress levels may decrease (which benefits your physical and mental health), you can escape the emotional roller coaster, and you’ll feel more confident in who you are. You want to, but you don’t put as much inventory into your job performance. Basically just what others at work think about you and your career stats. Without that, you begin to realize that you are a fully human being.
But you may worry that pleasing people or quietly quitting will hurt your business.
If you’re used to putting your job and other people’s feelings before your own well-being, the idea of exchanging grades can feel scary, like getting fired or everyone thinking your job is crap.
This is not real. In fact, Tracy says that moving away from people-pleasing can open up work-related opportunities and make your job better.
He explains: They equally respect the opinions of others.
“You can demonstrate initiative and leadership skills by developing your ability to express your opinion on the subject, rather than the person.”
Empathy for others is a person’s strength. Yes You can avoid feeling other people’s emotions, so you can communicate well with all team members and create a great work culture.
“If you are comfortable with how you feel, say what you mean, and respect the opinions of others, you can stay on the radar for your next promotion.
“It also gives me more clarity about what career paths I really like, rather than what I should do next.”
How to get rid of the habit of pleasing people.
So how can we avoid people-pleasing?
Consciously notice when you are pleasing people.
Tracy says that the first step in breaking a habit is acknowledging it. “When you notice someone being nice to you, instead of blaming yourself for it, acknowledge it and think about how you would have reacted to the situation.”
deal with the cause of pleasing people
Tracy says:
“Long-term changes in your automatic reactions come from creating new beliefs about yourself.
It is worth investing in therapy to explore this more deeply.
Where does the belief that you have to get tired to be a “good guy” come from? How is it resolved?
see mistakes as lessons
People have a funny tendency to blame themselves for minor mistakes. This negative self-talk needs to stop.
“Instead of concluding that you’re not good enough, take the opportunity to learn when things go wrong,” says Tracy. Please.
do your best to climb
Leaving people comfortably can be a bit awkward. Instead of hitting rock bottom, start small and address nice behavior.
This means challenging yourself to say no to some requests or stopping when someone asks for your opinion and saying what you really feel, not what someone else wants to hear.
To help them understand the changes you’re making, it’s helpful to let them know you’re breaking the people-pleasing habit.
“It’s normal to feel uncomfortable starting out on a new path,” says Tracy. “Start with the easiest and work your way up to more difficult situations as you gain confidence.
“Be considerate of those who are used to pleasing others and share with them that you are making personal progress and beginning to change habits.
“People will respond to you based on how they feel about what you say. If you’re confident, they’re more likely to accept your new behavior.”
Tracy Seccombe is a coach who specializes in moving people from people pleaser to soul pleaser and author of From People Pleaser To Soul Pleaser.
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Source: Metro
I am currently a news writer for News Bulletin247 where I mostly cover sports news. I have always been interested in writing and it is something I am very passionate about. In my spare time, I enjoy reading and spending time with my family and friends.
