‘I lived with a monster – I wore make-up to cover the bumps’ – Read Alexandra’s shocking story

This love blinded her as she realized later and she didn’t see the signs from the beginning. I met the woman when we communicated about another case of abuse. While we were talking about the other victim she revealed to me her own Golgotha. I’d like you to call me “Sunshine” she told me… Because she found the courage to run away when her own life was in danger.

I asked her to tell me how this nightmare started. She was only 17 years old when she met him in a town in Thessaly. Both students two years apart (the older one). After finishing school they get married as Alexandra becomes pregnant. He flies into the clouds but slowly begins to land. “The first signs were when I was getting dressed to go out. He was saying: Why did you wear shorts? Why did you wear a mini? Why did you wear earrings? Why did you dye your hair? Why did you paint the eyes? No, take them off, they don’t suit you. I was 18 years old. Then because I was very good at my job, everyone called me well done. This thumbs up from others drove my ex-husband crazy. I do not know why. Was he disadvantaged? I do not know why. That’s what I realized over the years.”

When does he become more aggressive?

“When I opened my first company. That’s when he started making my life hell. Why did you talk to so-and-so? What did he tell you; He said something mean to you. He started seeing ghosts. The first blow came on the occasion of the summer holidays. A childhood friend of mine and his sister were also coming with us. Notably, my mother would also be with us. And there I eat the first straw at the foot as we were sitting. Under the table. I tell him why did you do that? Because I don’t want him to come, he answered. Basically he didn’t want me to communicate with anyone. From then on I started to gather, to be afraid. Then he started hitting me and I got bruises. I was telling everyone who saw me that I hit, fell into a corner, that I stood up suddenly and fell into the cupboard. I was wearing makeup, a lot of makeup. I have stopped wearing makeup because it reminds me of that period. For me, make-up means violence in my mind. One incident I will never forget is one Easter. I was making a chicken and it was late to come. As soon as I saw him I asked him why you were late? I won’t make it alone. Do you know what he did? He grabbed me by the hair and brought me down from the roof where we were in a two-story house and dragged me up the stairs.”

Did you feel disadvantaged?

“He made me feel like it was my fault, right from the start. That I’m not right. After every fight he apologized to me and told me “it’s your fault too”. When he made me feel guilty another trope started. It started to take from me not only my energy but it got to the point of taking money as well. Of course in the marriage there were those. He forced me in his way to buy him an inflatable. He was also exploiting me financially. And I should brag, of course.”

Were you afraid and didn’t speak?

“Yes. Fear but also guilt. I was afraid he would leave. I was afraid I would lose him. After many years of abuse I know my guardian angel Angeliki. She used to get into fights between us, she even cut her finger. And I told her every time “it’s not my fault because I’m sharp”. He was telling me “you are not well”. Understand at some point on a TV show I hear a woman tell her story. That he is being abused. And I turn and tell Angeliki. Look what this girl pulls. He looks at me and says “You are her”. Don’t you recognize that he’s basically talking as if it’s you? At one point I even got to telling her that she is telling me all this because she is alone (her husband had died). That he wants to see me divorced.”

How do you make the decision to leave?

“It is at the time that I am working in a shop that I have opened and he is with walks, extramarital affairs trips. We were very good financially. One night I tell him that I’m going out with two of my girlfriends near our house. On the phone I asked him if he wanted anything. He told me “no”. I went out at ten in the evening and came back two hours later. When I came back there was a massacre. So much wood that even the walls were stained. He was hitting me everywhere. I broke my arm and I’m calling the police. It was the first time I took the police. The other times the police were taken by the neighborhood. And every time she said she was crazy. He was driving me crazy, he was driving me down crazy. After that I never saw him again. That episode was the last. He was convicted in court. But he also did something else. He called our child and said: “either with your mom or with me.” The child naturally responded with mom. I know what my mom has been through. I am not stupid”.

What is it that you will never forget?

“I remember his evil look. I remember one mischief. A jealousy that was becoming madness. It was driving him crazy. Because it was all jealousy. I have had many thumbs up in my life even from his parents. For my behavior, for everything. And that drove him crazy.” During all these years of abuse, Alexandra tried to endure. Even today he cannot explain her attitude. Obviously she loved him too, obviously she thought he would change. Most importantly, she convinced her boyfriend that none of this was happening to her. I ask her what her advice is to abused women: “A woman should not allow a man to pull her even by the hand. Not that either”. Her wounds remain open despite the fact that she once again took her life into her own hands. She told me she moved town, drained the amount she had on her back because of her ex-husband, and works from morning to night. It doesn’t bother her.

She is now free. But he doesn’t trust anyone. The man she loved and believed would have a happy family treated her in the worst way. She can’t trust anyone anymore. “I don’t leave myself to anyone. I don’t trust, I don’t believe anymore.” If you could go back in time, I asked her at the end of the interview, what would you change? “I wouldn’t close in my shell, I wouldn’t be afraid of him. I would step foot. This is me, why shouldn’t I wear earrings? Why does he make me wear clothes like kelebies? And I was only 25 years old… I never dressed provocatively but it had gone to another extreme. And I allowed it.”

Alexandra shows us all how abusive behavior begins. She succeeded and left. This is the important thing. Get out of places where you are not respected. Even verbal violence shows disrespect…

Read the News today and get the latest news.
Follow Skai.gr on Google News and be the first to know all the news.