Alien dinner in the flying saucer is an attraction in SP, but the tip is to get there already

Experience, that’s a little word that has been trivialized in gastronomy. Anything becomes experience. All-you-can-eat kabobs is an experience. Sugarcane juice at the fair? Experience.

Then the advertisement for an alien themed dinner appears in my Instagram stories, inside a flying saucer. Finally, an experience worthy of the weight of the word.

Masochistic curiosity led me to the “Aliens Experience”, a children’s show staged in a parking lot in front of the Memorial da América Latina, in Barra Funda, in the central region of São Paulo. The flying saucer is a temporary structure a little more sophisticated than a heated circus tent.

The ET mission required the company of Pedro, my nine-year-old assistant. The advantage of having such a junior helper is that you can pay for him with fried foods and a milkshake—legally safe negotiation when the guy is also your son.

We bought tickets online and arrived a little before show time, at 7pm, on a Saturday. To enter, those over 12 years old must present proof of vaccination. It’s a show for aliens, not for the insane, a great goal for the Andromeda people.

Inside the “disco”, tables are arranged around the stage, which is in the center of the arena. The environment is as dark as the ends of the Milky Way, with neons and black light making the brightly colored plastic cups glow.

The menu appears on the cell phone by a QR code that already identifies the table and sends the order to the kitchen. Sounds like science fiction.

Alien society is stratified. Those who wait on the tables resemble humans with heavy makeup. Those who participate in the play are subdivided into half a dozen species with authentic extraterrestrial phenotype: a few dominate our language, the others emit “blips” and similar sounds.

The intergalactic plot revolves around the theft of a space stone with magical powers. The climax of the action takes place in the battle between the stolen ETs and the thieving ETs.

At that point, everything turns to rush and turmoil, with space warriors firing multiple green and red laser beams. My cat Lola would go crazy with so many light flies. Pedro also enjoyed it a lot, as did the other children on the record.

The presence of one or another childless couple was intriguing. On the table right in front of mine, a little bearded man with the look of a handcrafted tattoo artist or gourmet barber was very excited. He laughed. He raised his arm to participate in the interactive games. He took selfies with the characters. He even gave up his own chair for an alien to drink beer (Heineken’s long neck costs R$18) with his girlfriend. All for a photo on Insta.

I didn’t let myself go into such a trance, but my low expectations were surpassed. The Andromeda guys are good at what they do, for their target audience.

I expected something narrow. I’ve had bad, um, experiences in children’s entertainment — like the animal world drive-thru in a mall parking lot, rough to make a country circus clown blush.

The costumes are neat, the scenery too, the text has some good insights, everything works in sync, including the service concomitant with the piece. But I need to talk about the food, because that’s what the leaf pays me.

The menu shows some gastronomic ambition, which is reckless in a children’s show situation. There is a section for starters, another with hamburgers of three types of meat (plus a vegan) and a section dedicated to dishes combined with steak, pasta, salad, etc.

I lined up with my junior assistant the following order: chicken nuggets (BRL 38) to share. Pork burger (R$49.50) with arugula and onion rings for me. For him, breaded filet with pesto pasta (R$ 68) and a chocolate milkshake (R$ 31) full of marshmallows and similar messes.

Prices, if not whimsical, are stratospheric. It’s expected in show houses and flying saucers.

The problem with the aliens is that while Orion glows on stage, the oil literally makes the food glow. Everything is too greasy.

The nuggets were on a par with those bought in supermarkets. The breaded steak was just fillet, but it was soggy, and the pesto on the pasta tasted like oxidized oil and basil. The food arrives at the table in record time, which raises the suspicion that it is simply heated up for service.

As for my hamburger, I was awarded an orange-Venusian cheese spread that was not in the menu description. Pedro didn’t seem to mind such nuances: he devoured his food and mine. I need to be stricter with my apprentice.

Without wanting to get too hard on the friendly aliens, it’s a fun program to take kids with. But try to eat before—or leave it for later. Then you can relax with an overpriced ice cream and a beer, with a smile on your face, because that’s how it works on planet Earth.