Opinion – Gross Kitchen: The enigmatic marmitex of Carluxo Bolsonaro

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When the children start to grow up, invitations appear to play at this or that little friend’s house. The program, in general, involves lunch or dinner. Here comes the concern of parents.

Will Valentina behave? Will Téo chew with his mouth open? Will Enzo turn up his nose at the food served and force Catarina’s family to fry an egg just for him?

I’m wondering if Jair, our future ex-president, is worried about the precarious table manners of his son Carlos, zero-two. I doubt it, judging by the mess Papa Bolso makes with the farofa.

Carluxo attacks (literally attacks with forks) a lunchbox, in a video released on Twitter by the Bolsonaro TV profile – created to promote an eponymous app, of nebulous paternity, which disseminates thumbs-up content produced by the Bolso family.

In the short film, Carlos does not use the usual surrealist prose. He is silent, sitting, in a domestic kitchen, in front of a sad, ugly and ill-fitting hottie. Styrofoam package filled to the top with rice, meat, potatoes, pasta and a few pieces of meat, maybe beans and farofa too.

The marmitex rests on a china plate – which causes some strangeness, but it is the least strange thing in the post.

Annoyed by something, Carluxo repeatedly hits the food with his fork, making a potato chip fly out of the lunch box. It’s all that happens in the five seconds of the video. Nothing makes sense.

Incidentally, almost nothing makes sense in the publications of such Bolsonaro TV. They are absurd on purpose, so Bolsominions look for a hidden meaning in them. The Bolsonarist sect sees riddles and encrypted messages in everything, even the 02 lunchbox.

Keeping track of comments is as fun as it is scary. “Morse code? Who knows”, asks Dona Célia, who defines herself as a “Zap great-grandmother”.

Some patriotic Sherlock seems to have figured out the sequence of dots and dashes: it’s “AI-5” that Carlos taps with his fork. Soon, the closure of Congress and the consecration of Jair Bolsonaro as an autocratic leader are close.

There are more triumphalist interpretations. One realizes that Bolsonaro would be about to fork the communists of the Forum of São Paulo. Another uses a proverb: “Revenge is a dish best served cold”.

Most militants are completely disoriented. “Has even lunch become an enigma?” “These PR riddles are driving me crazy!” “Our president continues to communicate with his people the only way he can!”

The Bolsominion short-circuit delights the “infiltrators” who also comment on Carlux’s performance.

“That disqualified head doesn’t even know how to use a fork.” “Not even a chimpanzee eats like that.” Wickedness.

Opponents also entered the pile to unravel the riddle. “Lunchbox, white shirt… looks like someone is going to see the sun rise square”, observes a shrewd tweeter.

Then the video starts to make sense. As people of faith often say, amen.

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