Etiene looks beyond the pool after surgery and reflections on mental health

Etiene Medeiros, the first female swimmer in the country to be a Pan-American and world champion, has broken several barriers in Brazilian sport during the last decade.

At the age of 30, after seasons marked by physical and emotional overload, in addition to surgery on her right knee in September 2021, the athlete maintains the desire to return to swimming at the level of the world’s elite. “I don’t feel prepared to stop swimming, I really like to compete and I still have some desires and accomplishments to do within the sports environment”, she tells leaf.

When talking about what he still wants to achieve, however, Etiene doesn’t stop at results in the pools. “I have a goal to do a new breast cancer awareness campaign, to help people in the sport, to do volunteer work, to be in action in some sports movements, to be talking about important issues like gender equality and fighting racism. It is much broader than just talking about medals”, he explains.

The last few years have not been simple for the swimmer from Pernambuco, but they have made her reflect on her role in the sport and the discussions that often end up being neglected in this environment.

In 2019, after amending participation in the World Championships in Gwangju (South Korea) and the Pan American Games in Lima, she told journalists in Peru that she could not wait to take a vacation. A statement that could be seen as normal, but which also revealed a burnout that he still didn’t feel comfortable talking about.

“I went through a moment in 2019 when I had a very high burnout. It was very remarkable and today it is one of the topics that I feel safer to talk about. Many athletes have been verbalizing this on a daily basis”, he notes.

In her opinion, those who know her certainly already realized in a simple “hello”, “bye” or “I need a vacation” that something was not going well. “I didn’t recognize myself in some ways. I raised my hand and went looking for a professional with whom I could talk about what I was feeling. The first thing I felt was that self-demand. I was never a woman who was always looking for goals, I was always very natural with everything in my life”, she says.

Psychological and medical help, in addition to the support from their surroundings, were important to face what was yet to come: the interruption of sport caused by the Covid-19 pandemic and the uncertainties about several factors, including the holding of the Olympic Games in Tokyo-2020.

Etiene thought that the forced pause could be a “sigh” for those who longed for it, but he also faced new dilemmas in this period.

World champion of the 50 m backstroke in long pool in 2017 and two-time Pan American champion in 2015 (100 m backstroke) and 2019 (50 m freestyle), the swimmer was unable to repeat her best performances after returning from competitions.

In the Olympic tryouts, in April of last year, she did not reach the indices for swimming individual events in Japan. She ended up classified for the spot in the 4 x 100 m freestyle relay and was also able to compete in the 50 m freestyle, with an index obtained previously.

“Something very difficult has happened for me, but I still want to be a little reserved. When the time is right I will share it with everyone,” she said in Tokyo, after finishing the 50m in 29th place.

Although today she is open to dealing with more delicate topics, Etiene also understands that it is necessary to be self-care and only approach them when she feels prepared. “It’s not all that I live that I’ll show. When I’m comfortable, I want to talk about the agenda. Let it be a light debate, because what I’ve lived and live can help other people”, he says.

It was not known to the public at the time, but the athlete competed injured in Japan. She claims to have fulfilled the planning outlined by the COB (Brazilian Olympic Committee) and the CBDA (Brazilian Confederation of Aquatic Sports), together with her coach, to participate in the event even with limitations.

“The moment I would have difficulty putting my work and expend bad energy for myself and my friends, I would be the first to say that I didn’t want to participate. In no way would we put our team, our profession and our technical quality at risk”, he argues.

The knee surgery, in September, made the Pernambuco-born woman face a new forced break in her career. The interruption of training this time was accompanied by a desire to completely disconnect from the routine of professional sports.

“I am a high-performance athlete and also a 30-year-old woman. Before the athlete, there is a human being who has been training since the age of five. At the time of her career when this athlete had to have surgery and stop training, she also wanted to stop dieting, stop talking about sports issues… She needed that time for herself”, she reports.

The swimmer says that she gained 15 kg – most of it already lost – and that she reflected a lot on self-image. “When I look in the mirror and see myself in a bikini I wouldn’t normally wear, or I don’t feel comfortable with a blouse that doesn’t fit me, there’s a self-esteem there. ‘. I had moments of not recognizing myself. This is also a mental health agenda.”

She knew she would need to get back into the rut if she wants to compete at the elite level again. “I have the responsibility that I am an athlete, an employee of an institution, and I work with my body. My body has to perform. I enjoyed it a little bit, now let’s go back to real life, go after it, lose weight.”

Etiene has already returned to swimming at the club he has been defending for nine years, Sesi-SP, but he still doesn’t have a concrete plan to return to competitions. She also takes the opportunity to enjoy with her family in Recife and had a new experience, as a commentator for SporTV at the Short Pool World Championship, in December.

The Pernambuco native remembers that at the beginning of her career she faced the sport “in a very superficial way”. Then came the phase of the greatest achievements, which put her in contact with other Brazilian references and prepared her for what she lives today. “Maturity helps you share tasks. You become a multiple person. Today I don’t just see myself as an athlete in society, I see myself as a transforming agent.”