“Hotel Mama” is a typical expression used by the Germans to play with immature adults who remain attached to their parents’ care and do not dare to stand on their own two feet and “set up” their own household. According to stereotypes, similar behaviors are found mainly in southern European countries, where family ties remain strong, but sometimes become oppressive. However, the latest data from the German Statistical Office reveal similar phenomena in Germany: in 2020 a not insignificant percentage of 28% of 25-year-olds lived with their parents!
The truth is, however, that there is a difference between the two sexes: in 25-year-old boys the percentage of… well-educated people who do not leave home easily reaches 35%, while in girls of the same age it does not exceed 21%. The gap is maintained at older ages. 13% of 30-year-old men still live in their paternal home, while for 30-year-old women the corresponding percentage is limited to 6%. Sociologist Klaus Hurelmann, one of the most well-known researchers on German youth issues, explains: “Young women are more flexible, more modern, more open-minded. “On the contrary, many young people are trapped in traditional manhood patterns and become softer, especially when staying at home is perpetuated.” This does not mean that women are not trapped in traditional patterns, but in this case they react differently, that is, they think that “if it is to wash clothes, it is better to wash only my own…”
The limitations of the pandemic
A huge gap is also observed between the urban and rural population. For example, in the vast Northern Saxony or in the green Brandenburg, the percentage of young people aged 20-25 who remain in their home country reaches 47%, while in Berlin it is 36% and in Hamburg it does not exceed 32%. Sociologist Klaus Hurelman points out, of course, that the precondition for effective separation from parents and complete independence “is not just moving to another home, alone or with a roommate. An emotional and social disconnection is also required. ” The theory is that those who remain attached to parental care find it difficult to mature and build new relationships with solid foundations.
Here, the German sociologist points out, the consequences of the pandemic are painful: “It is very difficult now to create one’s own circle, to do things that one’s parents do not learn. “Especially in the Lockdown period, parents and children had no choice but to constantly share the same space.” The problem is particularly acute for young students, who started studying from 2019 onwards. Many thought that by enrolling in university they would begin to enjoy life outside the home and return to their room only for the essentials, for sleep, food and no laundry. But these expectations are dashed and in fact young people “miss the opportunity to move on to the next stage, to take the next step in their lives”, as Klaus Hurelman points out. “If this continues for next year, we will have a whole bunch of young students who have not known either student life or socializing with peers. It will be a bunch of dissatisfied people, without the necessary balances “.
The benefits for the older ones
On the other hand, of course, the German sociologist emphasizes, and parents, for example the current 40s and 50s, now show more tolerance towards young people than they had experienced in the past. This is also a factor that facilitates the coexistence of generations under the same roof. A coexistence that can have practical benefits for adults as well, who learn more about the lives of young people today and are better informed about developments in the digital environment. What if suddenly, within a day, the pandemic is overcome? “In this case, we will have an explosion of freedom,” said Klaus Hurelmann. “But that does not seem very likely at the moment. “Everything shows that the precautionary measures will continue for a few more years.”
Eva Kraftchuk (DPA)
Edited by: Giannis Papadimitriou
DW
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