For a long time, Melanie Weimer did not dare to show her hands. Even when it was hot, she hid them under long clothes. This summer was the first time in many years that she went to work in a short-sleeved T-shirt. She doesn’t mind people staring at her anymore. “I would appreciate it if they asked me what happened,” he says.

The 31-year-old’s hands are full of scars. Deep razor cuts inflicted by Melanie herself. The young woman from Nuremberg has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. A mental illness in which sufferers suffer from severe emotional fluctuations and mood swings. Many patients self-harm in order to reduce internal tension. “I couldn’t do it any other way,” says Melanie.

Increase in cases after the pandemic

The phenomenon of self-injury does not manifest itself in the same way for everyone. Some do it once, others repeatedly. Borderline Personality Disorder is not always behind this behavior. “Self-injury is primarily an expression of strong emotional distress or stress, and this can of course occur in the context of almost any mental illness,” explains Michael Kess, Director of the University Clinic of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry in Bern. For example, in the case of depression or schizophrenia.

Adolescents are particularly affected, says Michael Kess, according to data published in August in the specialist journal “European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry”. 9,500 students in Germany took part in this survey. Almost 18% said they had already had an experience of self-harm. An increase has been observed after the pandemic, Kes adds.

“A possible push mechanism is social media,” adds the expert. Anyone who frequently clicks on posts about topics such as depression or seizures may be more likely to see content dealing with self-harm and suicide.

On the internet, self-harm is a type of competition

Melanie has experienced how quickly you can find yourself in a vortex of negative emotions online. There are people who brag about how quickly they got back to the hospital or how deep their injury was to get attention. The psychotherapist Sascha Tzugele from the Nuremberg Public Hospital points out, however, that the situation is not as bad as it was 20 years ago. Meanwhile there is more information and one can find a lot of positive information on the internet. The important thing is that people talk about their problems and seek help.

Many sufferers do not seek help out of shame. This can also be seen from the research carried out on students in Germany. Of those experiencing mental health problems, just 25% had sought professional help, explains Michael Kess.

Melanie hasn’t cut her skin with razors or burned it in almost a year. Through therapy she has learned to better manage her emotions and tension. She plays with her cats, does yoga and reads a lot to distract herself. “It’ll never go away completely,” he admits, “but it’s a part of me,” he says. Acceptance is also part of the healing process.

Edited by: Maria Rigoutsou