Christian and Atheist Marry Thanks to Dating App

Separated by two streets, Fabiane Motta, 26, and Rafael Martino, 28, clocked in every day at Bom Retiro, in downtown São Paulo. It was not this closeness, however, that was responsible for their first meeting, in April 2019. What brought the couple together was the internet.

On Happn, a dating app, her profile, with an invitation for coffee, caught the attention of the photographer and cameraman. In his description, #ForaBolsonaro did not go unnoticed and encouraged the stylist to continue the conversation. When they found out they worked in the same neighborhood, they decided to see each other in person.

“We made an appointment after work, without coffee or anything, on the couch at the mall where the clothing store where I was doing an internship was located. It wasn’t that boring first date, where the guy keeps trying to harass me. going to college, we gave him a hug and each one went their own way. Afterwards, I thought: what a cute boy! I’m going to talk to him more often”, says Fabiane.

Until the dating proposal, in June, they repeated the meeting daily, always in the same place, in timed ten minutes of the lunch time. Between conversations, they discovered more and more affinities, such as a taste for art and cooking, and differences.

Christian, Fabiane grew up singing and playing in a Protestant church —Rafael, in turn, is an atheist. Distinct beliefs were not a problem for the designer, who carries the label of “feminist believer” for disagreeing with the positions of her men of religion. Still, as she told him about her faith, she was afraid it would be a barrier to him.

“In my doctrine, you can’t have sex before marriage. I told him everything and told him, with a sinking heart, for him to give up on me.” The photographer’s reaction, however, was not as she had expected: “That’s not what makes a couple. If that’s the big problem, forget it. I still want to get to know you more and I’m liking you.”

There was no objection among family members for the union to have taken place through an app, but the mother and some friends of the stylist were resistant until the wedding, in January 2021, for fear that the couple would go against the religious precept. Today, she continues to go to church — sometimes accompanied by her husband, who is not interested in the services but enjoys listening to her sing.

In Fabiane and Rafael’s story, the role of the internet was not limited to Happn. Connection was even more important during the pandemic. Even from a distance, they maintained the habit of watching and commenting on movies and even romantic dinners.

“The solution was to make pasta, each one in their own house, and open a video call. To make the atmosphere closer, I turned off the lights, lit a candle and stayed on the couch, with the laptop in front of me and we talking and eating”, he says.

In the last months of 2020, with more mature plans, it was on Instagram that Rafael found the pair of golden rings, made from old coins, on which they preferred to engrave “tigers and tigress” – a nickname given by Fabiane in reference to the red beard of the husband—in place of names. The dress that the stylist wore on her wedding day was also purchased online.

For Rafael, the tool facilitates communication between the most introverted people: “We worked in the same neighborhood, two streets apart, but we could never have seen each other or, even if we had crossed paths, one would only have passed next to the other and ready”. Laughing, the stylist adds: “He’s shy, he would never stop and say: What’s up, babe, let’s go?”

The relationship with faith is not the only difference between the couple. Homemade, Rafael runs to keep up with Fabiane, who doesn’t hesitate to go for a walk after a day’s work. She is a vegetarian, her husband is not — yet one of their hobbies is cooking while listening to jazz and drinking wine.

“Marriage only improved our relationship. We are best friends, partners in everything. We’ve been together for three years and it’s crazy: we can fight in the market over the price of fabric softener, but not over religion.”