Tips that can be applied before or after outbursts of anger are presented by Dr. Of Psychology of the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki Apostolos Kaliabos.
In children’s anger and its management, one step before the occurrence of violence in the family, school, neighborhood or any other context, experts turn their attention, in an effort to mobilize parents and orient them to practices that contribute to mitigation of aggression.
Tips that can be applied before or after outbursts of anger presents, speaking to APE-MPE, Dr. Psychology of the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki Apostolos Kaliabos, pointing out, in any case, that it is always better to prevent an explosive situation than to deal with it after the manifestation of anger.
In an observer position to trace the origin of anger
In this context, he first suggests to parents the adoption of the role of observer, so that they can identify and perceive the origin of anger. “It is common for children, when they return home from school, to want to play to satisfy their normal need for play. This condition may conflict with the need of returning parents to take time off work.
A possible refusal of parents to play with the children at that time is likely to lead to the children’s persistence and further escalation of the reaction, especially in cases of hyperactive children, who need more stimuli to discharge. Observing children’s reactions and understanding their specific needs on the part of parents, engaging them in activities and engaging with them could prevent them from expressing anger and bring to the surface the beneficial effects of parental attention. to their children “, he points out characteristically.
Keeping promises, choices and preparation
In the same vein, he advises parents not to make promises that they cannot keep, so that children do not experience the feeling of frustration that leads to anger, and finds it very helpful to offer children options to feel involved in making decisions about issues concerning them. “If a decision is imposed on a child, even in the interest of being, he can deny it. “Unlike the possibility of choices, he feels better and gains a lot in terms of his self-confidence, critical thinking, responsibility and ability to make decisions”, he adds.
At the same time, informing and preparing the youngest members of a family about the data of a situation before it is created (for example, a visit to the pediatrician, shopping, driving, visiting a friendly family) provides the necessary information to avoid unexpectedly and effectively sets the rules of conduct before an outbreak occurs. Typical is the case of young children, who when visiting a store may want to get specific things that they like. “Informing them that they can choose a single object works in a very positive way in limiting this behavior and preventing tensions,” he comments.
Proper organization of time and tasks
A particularly important factor in preventing tensions and the manifestation of stress and anger is the proper organization of time and tasks. “Think of a teacher coming in and telling his students, ‘Get a 100-page book and come in ten days to take an exam.’ Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. “But if we think about organizing our work to read ten pages every day, we will find that this is possible and we will not give up, since smaller goals are easier to achieve and give us courage, satisfaction, efficiency and confidence,” he points out.
What can be done after the anger manifests
Apart from the cases where an outburst of anger can be prevented, there are possibilities to react and modify the behavior even after its manifestation, although the difficulties are more. In the event of anger or violence at school, parents can discuss with the children the reasons that led to this behavior, reiterate the rules that do not allow the use of violence, allow the expression of emotions and let the children speak and express themselves.
It has a role in this process, according to Dr. Psychology of AUTh and the school itself, as in addition to providing knowledge to students, it must train them in skills and abilities of communication, coexistence with others, social behavior and interaction, conflict resolution through dialogue.
Stress and anger management techniques
Stress management techniques can also have a positive effect, as the expression of anger and aggression may come from the way a person sees things, from the very thoughts and scenarios he makes in his mind. Mr. Kaliabos emphasizes that “it is not excluded that a child sees things too much, that he is stressed by exams, his relationships with other people, his way of thinking. He may feel that he can not do it, he may feel inadequate. This is the reason why the change of thinking has the power to turn a person to his positive points, possibilities and prospects “.
At the level of thinking again, around the manifestation of anger, everyone can process in his mind the word of anger, his starting point, the reasons for which he began to express himself. In more serious cases, after all, it is good to apply the practice of time – out, so that a child, in a state of great tension, is immediately removed from the environment in which it occurs. According to him, “if a small child hits his little brother, it is good for the parents to intervene, to stop this behavior, to move the child to another place to calm down, relax and distance himself from the condition that triggered the anger. The discussion about all this follows and should take place in conditions of calm and composure “.
Finally, it is helpful for parents to know that there are specific patterns of people who get angry easily, either because they can take things too personally, or because they are easily offended, or because they can not accept that what they want is not done.
Most cases that psychologists are called upon to manage
Mr. Kaliabos emphasizes that psychologists are there to help with their knowledge and experience, while noting that most of the incidents that reach them are uncontrollable outbursts of anger and are presented with the assessment of parents that children always want to do Theirs.
It assures, however, that after a careful analysis of the previous conditions and avoiding general characterizations (such as that children are nervous due to character or personality), the causes and reasons for such behaviors can be identified and it is entirely possible that they become properly managed. , with positive results for everyone.
