Regretting what you didn’t do is ultimately more negative

Your actions are the result of your choices. And your choices are the result of your thoughts and judgment.

Every time you are called to make a decision on how to act, it is a decision that is “produced” at a specific moment, with specific data and a specific mood. Every moment is unique and therefore every decision is also unique.

However, your actions also have consequences. They can be negative or positive, they can be good for you and bad for someone else. However, these two go together, tightly embraced.

You can’t choose one and avoid the other. Because consequences are the result of your actions and choices.

What happens when the consequences are negative?

And of course always, always the consequences of your action do not depend solely on you. There are always factors that can take you off the path you’ve decided to take. In other words, let your actions have a different outcome than the one you expected.

So what do you do in this case? When things don’t go your way as you predicted?

Unfortunately or fortunately, the world is a huge complex of influences. It’s like the butterfly effect, where when a butterfly flaps its wings, on the other side of the world that action has results.

So the main thing is not to obsess over the wrong choices. Clinging to the past and thinking why you did this and didn’t do that is really futile. Because regretting what you didn’t choose, what you didn’t decide and didn’t do is totally, totally invalid.

First, there were clear reasons and circumstances that made you act as you did. And surely, everyone acts with the best in mind. In other words, you wouldn’t choose to do something if you knew in advance that it would lead you to failure.

Second, even if you still had the ability to go back in time and do things differently, you don’t know that the consequences would actually be positive for you now.

Because every action brings a reaction. But each reaction is unique in the space and time it takes place.

Third, clinging to the past does not help your present and future. Dwelling on ifs and thoughts of “what if I chose something else” does not help you solve your now.

Fourth, hanging on and constantly feeling regret for all the things you didn’t do is not romantic. It is a delusion, an evasion and sometimes it can be cowardice.

What does regret mean?

To regret is to believe that you have made a mistake and that you would be better off if you had made different choices.

To regret is to hold yourself back, clinging to a past that you cannot change.

Constantly regretting your choices makes you feel inadequate, doubt yourself, and lose hope. You are left with a sense of loss that you cannot manage.

And that doesn’t let you deal with the present. To fix what went wrong, to find solutions and a little hope.
Make your present

So instead of thinking about all the things you would have done but didn’t, think about what you can do from now on.

Realism

Maybe what you really need to do is face reality. See things realistically. Overcome any obstacle and find a way to cope with the now.

Assess the situation based on now and accept your choices, but also their consequences.

Find the positives

More often than not, there is something positive in every situation. Something to grab onto and relieve the weight of your wrong decision.

And this positive is perhaps a lesson to know better in the future. So look for the positive sign in things.

Amendments

So if you think things have gone so wrong, just fix them. Find a way, think, consult how to fix the situation.

Show that you recognize your mistake and that you are willing to fix it, to restore the right.

And most importantly, don’t be so hard on yourself. After all, no one is infallible.

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