You wake up. You open Instagram. First story the snapshots from a concert. Next story a young woman in an oversized t-shirt, with a print of her favorite band and shiny skin, stretches her arms in the air, in a minimal room. You guessed it, he’s been up since six.
Even the messy bun and rumpled cigar-colored sheets maintain a sense of minimalist elegance.
In her next story the sun is shining, her plants are thriving, a steaming coffee and in the next the outfit of the day. Even the foam in her coffee you notice is wonderful. And the light that falls on her shoes brighter than you’ve ever seen before. Still wondering about her shoes?
She is “that girl” and I want to be her. Or at least that’s what the algorithm says.
This girl is the modern aesthetic – parading as a lifestyle – on Instagram, Pinterest and TikTok. When you see it you are enchanted. There is perfection, discipline and good cheer behind every element of her morning routine. Who wouldn’t want to have mastered such a combination? And, of course, who among us would not be seduced by the idea of ​​the perfect life?
So, I bought avocados. I also bought a new yoga mat. And I also bought baby pink nail polish. I set the alarm for 6:30 in the morning and imagined myself basking in the morning sun on a walk before work, with a nice bottle of water, wearing beige leggings to match my nails.
Until 7:45 I was scrolling on the Internet. I got up, saw it was cloudy, poured some almond milk, deleted some spam emails and looked at my calendar. I turned on the radio and jotted down a few more jobs.
Eventually the avocados went bad and my nail polish looked extremely boring as a color. My plan wasn’t working.
That’s when I really understood: I failed to be that girl because I am that girl.
The trap of becoming that girl seems to be the only path to true self-improvement. You have to get to the point where you’ve tried it and discovered that it’s okay to want quiet mornings. Love your routine. And wanting to improve will only evolve what you already are. That is, the pursuit of the best version of who you are. Not something else.
The whole idea is steeped in toxic positivity, but it’s also an escape that many of us need right now. This girl isn’t woken up by a hungry child, a messy partner, or a stack of bills. See this girl as a mirage of what you long for and it’s okay to want something different. It’s okay to want strawberry french toast for breakfast. It’s okay to want your jeans to stay white so you can wear them with a well-ironed beige silk shirt.
Our individual well-being is not aesthetic
Here’s the problem, though. Maybe these things are our needs, but maybe they are not. He does every time we sleep until 9pm. a failure and it turns any missed opportunity for avocado toast into defeat. And it’s nothing like self-care.
We need to practice the “is it good for her VS is it good for me?” question a bit more. Because it’s totally OK to get inspiration from the internet but our participation is optional.
Self-care is still self-care even if no one sees it.
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