The traffic light turns from red to green and before you even have time to put your foot from the brake to the accelerator, yip. The friendly and courteous driver from behind. Where if you start two tenths of a second later, of course his day will be completely off schedule.

And in your hand a smart watch. It measures pulses, steps, calories, whether you’ve melted on the sofa, whether you’re stressed. And, of course, what time it is, what time you should go to bed and when to wake up.

Green lights and precision clocks

They are all there for you, making sure you never slip up in the slightest. Green lights, to follow the program to the letter. To be able to fit in 24 hours what usually doesn’t fit. And precision watches, to make sure they carry you when you’re having such a fantastic time that the theory of relativity kicks in and you don’t know what time it is. But no, you must know, the time for the next obligation is approaching.

And the clock strikes will now take the form of a countdown. Does this all remind you of something out of a bomb in a movie? He does well. Have you seen anything in your life that can be eternally filled without emptying but also without overflowing? A bag, a box, a pouch, your glass? Basic principles of physics, it just can’t be done.

So do you. You made programs and other programs, programs within programs, blamed rest and glorified versatility. You filled up and filled up, but you didn’t remember to empty. And if at some point you did, someone or something will always be found to make you feel guilty. And you refilled. Countdown, here it counts down for you. And the tip of the iceberg is you. If you don’t decompress, at some point one drop will be more than enough to overflow.

The others and us

The thing about the whole phase is that you get lost. You become consumed with when and how, with those around you and their needs, while you distance yourself from what you want and from yourself. With everything running and you doing everything you can – many times what you can’t – to reach them, the contact with oneself becomes blurred.

With the way we’ve shaped modern – over-the-top – networked societies, you’re always with others. And the more this is encouraged as the most acceptable, the less time is left for you. Because even when you are not with others in terms of physical presence, you have them on your mobile, tablet, computer, somewhere on a screen. They contact you whether the time is right or wrong and you reply at that time whether you like it or not, just to stay liked.

Social interaction is definitely a treasure. It improves our resistance to stress, helps our immunity, even increases life expectancy. While social isolation has been found to increase the risk of heart disease, obesity, depression and Alzheimer’s and reduce life expectancy. However, these studies concern extreme cases of social exclusion, as happens to people in captivity, children in orphanages, prisoners in isolation cells.

Superfood of the mind

All about involuntary isolation. Because voluntarily, things are completely different. Where something is always happening and someone or something demands your attention, where the demands of those around you and of yourself constantly take over, the break is lost.

Spending time alone, by choice, is not only bad. In fact, it ranges from extremely beneficial to necessary. Scientific studies are here to confirm with the bull, that specific periods of time that we dedicate to ourselves, without the presence of others, promote our personal well-being. Of course, this is shaped according to each person’s personality. An introvert craves personal time more, an extrovert less. In any case, targeted social distancing is to our mental health what superfoods are to the body.

Maybe you have felt it too. That time when your social plans were canceled at the last minute by others and instead of feeling frustrated, you felt relieved. It was a bell, listen to it. The need for introversion is not science fiction, it appears even in the most fanatical party animal. The only thing that changes is the frequency.

Another loneliness and another loneliness

Existential psychiatrist and author Irvin Yalom urges us toward chosen solitude. Arguing that in order to fully relate to someone else, we must first be able to relate to ourselves. Because otherwise, if we have not accepted our loneliness, we use others as a shield that protects us from it.

And put aside the stereotypes. How you have to have many friends, have a love affair, have fun everywhere and always and good vibes only and don’t get along. We have all felt lonely at some point in our lives, some more, some less. It is important to remember that it does not last forever, since everything comes and goes, until they come and go again.

Let alone loneliness and loneliness are not one and the same. One can be with other people or in a huge crowd and still feel alone. But he may indeed be alone and feel anything but lonely. It is called loneliness and he has consciously chosen it. Maybe because he needs a social break. Maybe personal time to sort out self issues. Perhaps he will seek the quiet, realize and redefine where he is and where he is going.

What do you have to gain by spending time alone?

  • Breath in the mind

With countless distractions around, the mind doesn’t know where to first focus. So he never calms down and never rests. By taking the time to pull away, you give him a chance to decompress.

  • Explore within

And after the mind has caught its breath, you can now negotiate with your inner self. What are your own real needs, what you want and prefer, what is excess, what weighs you down. Uninfluenced, without the opinions of those around. That’s the only way you’ll get to know you.

  • Confidence and freedom

By enjoying time alone, you learn to embrace yourself and have fun with yourself. You realize your strength and learn to rely on yourself. This gives you a feeling of absolute freedom. And, of course, it boosts your confidence.

  • Better relationships

By discovering your naked truth, your wants and needs, you take the first step towards more honest and healthy human relationships. The second is, now that you have found them, to find the appropriate way to communicate them to your own people.

  • Fire in creativity

We are all different and alas if we weren’t. The salt of life would be missing. In our diversity within, we all have creativity. It just expresses itself differently to each of us. Cooking, fitness, writing, gardening, reading, painting, dancing, music, countless directions. When we coexist, we tend to settle for what the majority prefers. But being alone, it’s time to forget about any limitations and let our creativity run wild.

Do you remember when we were little and misbehaved, we were punished by being alone in the room for a while? My narrow knowledge to have had you first, I think now. How valuable this punishment was in the end, even if it had a negative cloak at the time. Maybe here is the solution. A couple of times a week, let’s do a couple of pranks. And to “punish” us, even for half an hour at a time. See that when we leave the room, we will be new.