Pausch was a professor of Computer Science at Carnegie Mellon University and her institution “Last lecture” has been prevalent for years in America. When Pausch was asked to give his own final lecture, it was probably more than a reality for him, since he had been diagnosed with cancer a few months earlier. THE Last lecture by Randy Pausch became a book and now counts millions of views on YouTube and dozens of translations and editions around the world.

At one point Pausch passionately describes: “The walls are in front of us for a reason. It’s not to keep us away from something. They are to give us a chance to discover how much we want this something. That’s what walls are for: To stop those who don’t really want something” and concludes “Life’s mistakes and misfortunes may define you, but not in the way you think.”

And this is a thought that I try never to forget. Especially when things are going a bit wrong and I really need something to give me a boost. Even if that something is completely clichéd and well-worn.

Let’s take an example: You are rejected. In an interview, in a flirtation, in an idea. This is a wall, an obstacle, a crooked steering wheel in your straight path.

The rule is very specific: You have twenty minutes to manage it. Put the timer on your phone. You have exactly twenty minutes to be sad, angry, and whiny. And shout if you want. And open the fridge and take whatever you want. And to dance in your pants and shutters closed in the living room, Sugarcult’s Los Angeles. But only for twenty minutes. The rule is strict. As soon as the alarm goes off you have to get up. Wipe your eyes, style your hair and buckle up. And put the ice cream back in the fridge.

What can you do in these twenty minutes?

Get a girlfriend or boyfriend who you know loves you enough to put up with your whining. Share your drama and ask for support.

Write. Write what you think. Whatever you want to express at that moment. Don’t worry, no one will read it afterwards. You can burn it.

Dance in your living room. Play loud whatever inspires you to dance.

Cry. If that’s what you want.

She screamed into a pillow.

Go for a walk to get some fresh air and try to focus on the sounds of the city, which you usually ignore because you’re listening to music or because you’re thinking non-stop.

Read a random page from Little Prince or any book that inspires you.

Don’t do anything at all. Try to watch your breath, the ceiling, the silence of the house.

Each of us has our own way of expressing our nerves or frustration. Find what gets you fired up at that time and do it. For twenty minutes.

And after the twenty minutes?

The rule is not just to express yourself for twenty minutes. Continuity plays an equally important role in how you handle setbacks. This is exactly the point where you will delete. Delete the message/email that upsets you. Delete the conversation. According to experts it is a way to clear your head. Didn’t get accepted to a job? Think about it for twenty minutes and then mentally delete it.

Then think calmly about what might have gone wrong and fix it. Reread your resume and make some changes or give it to someone you trust to look at. Have you been rejected by a boy? Think if you really did something wrong or if there really was no attraction between you.

It is important to identify what went wrong and avoid it next time. But it’s more important to get up and move on.

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