Have you noticed while scrolling through social media some shapes that contrast a messy line with a straight line, noting the process of progress and the way it evolves in each healing process?

If you are one of those, for whom this image does not remind them of a Kandinsky painting, but you feel a greater identification, then you will agree that growing yourself is neither easy, nor a simple task.

And if you didn’t grow up in the little house in the meadow, but in the holy Greek family with all the pathologies that characterize it, then you would probably have various opportunities in the course of your life to lose your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Do you want to turn 30 and still haven’t found the man of your dreams as defined by social conventions? Do you want to have panic attacks after 12 hours in the office? Do you wish you didn’t have that extra time to do pilates 3 instead of 2 times a week?

Either way, there’s a voice inside your head that screams “you’re inadequate.”

Put the voice on mute if you want for a while, and keep reading

In May 2017, Cara Delevingne posted a video on her Instagram, in which she gave a resounding message about beauty standards and the pursuit of happiness, centering on self-love: “In our culture, we’re told that if we are beautiful, if we are thin, if we are successful, if we are famous, if we belong somewhere, if everyone loves us, then we will be happy. But this is not true. The most important journey, through which, I believe, we should all go, is the journey to find ourselves and discover our own truth, to find who we really are and what makes us happy.”

Of course it is important to say here, that negative self-image is not always only about our self-perception of our external appearance. But if Cara, who is also a super model, tells you that she is looking for it a little more, why should you consider that those 2-3 extra kilos that your scale shows after the summer holidays are capable of destroying your life and self-esteem ;

Let’s get this straight: It’s perfectly normal to have days when you’ll feel down and question your ability to get things right. But constantly feeling insecure can negatively affect every aspect of your life, from your physical and emotional well-being to the way you perform at work and relate to others.

Also, not feeling good enough can make you vulnerable in your romantic relationships as well, making you more prone to feelings of anxiety and jealousy. Research shows that self-esteem affects both ourselves and the satisfaction others derive from our relationships with them.

And yes, building self-esteem takes work, determination and willingness to be able to examine and confront negative thoughts about yourself, but also to actively reinforce your self-image with positive ones.

It’s vital to accept yourself, let go of things that bother you, and work on the areas you can (and want) to change.

You know, the more attention and care you give yourself, the more you contribute to the effort to improve your self-esteem.

According to recent studies, learning to forgive yourself for things you’ve done and regretted can also help improve your self-image.

Essentially, it’s about accepting and loving yourself exactly as you are right now, as a healthy expression of self-esteem is characterized by the fact that you like yourself, believe that you deserve love and happiness, and that you have confidence that you can achieve things in life. your life.

Healthy self-esteem is necessary to be able to enjoy positive emotional states such as joy, pleasure, relaxation, gratitude. These positive emotions offer protection from stress and other vicissitudes of life while contributing to mental and physical health.

It would not be an exaggeration to say that cheerfulness and joy protect and offer longevity

And we have seen how important healthy self-esteem is for the genesis of positive psychological states.

Besides, recent research offers us important new data on the relationship between positive emotional states and health:

  1. Laughter and humor improve the body’s defense system and the immune system’s capabilities against colds.
  2. In patients with heart diseases, positive emotional states reduce the number of hospital admissions.
  3. Optimism, that is, a positive expectation about the future and the ability to bounce back from bad events, reduces the risk of heart attacks by 50% and has been associated with better recovery from heart surgery.
  4. Positive emotional states neutralize the negative effects of stress on the body, offer better sleep, allow resourcefulness with a more efficient and creative way of thinking.

So it’s obvious that there are plenty of reasons to take care of and improve your self-esteem. And even if I have convinced you and you have all the good will to take care of yourself a little more, you will reasonably wonder how you can do this.

Fortunately, there are some simple and effective steps that can help you have a more “correct” view of yourself.

Trust me, by applying them, they will significantly contribute to raising your self-esteem:

  1. Record and keep a list of everything you achieve, even the smallest.
  2. Take on new challenges – the secret here is baby steps. Start with small things that you can do more easily and gradually move on to bigger or more difficult ones.
  3. Consider for a moment that yourself is your best friend. Replace self-criticism with encouraging comments and suggestions while simultaneously praising everything you accomplish.
  4. Take care of yourself consistently. Replace unhealthy snacks with fruit and take a walk every day.
  5. Hang out with people who make you feel good. Reduce the time spent with those who, even if they love you, with their frequent or severe criticism, may be taking a toll on you psychologically.
  6. Don’t forget that physical exercise is good for your emotional and physical health, so don’t neglect to exercise at a moderate intensity for 30 minutes, 5 or more days a week.
  7. Have sex! Orgasms can increase the confidence you feel because when we focus on how much pleasure our bodies can give us, we learn to associate our being with pleasure. In fact, a study on the female orgasm showed that the more orgasms a woman enjoys, the better she feels about her body.

And the better she feels about her body, the more sex she wants to have.

The positions you have to do

Although we would all like to build our self-esteem as quickly and efficiently as we can, sometimes the process can seem overwhelming. When we get caught up in expectations and forget some of the realities that come with life itself, we can feel discouraged and disappointed. So every time you seem to have lost your way, stop and remember the following:

  • Self-esteem is not linear. Remember when we were kids and took long car trips? I then dreamed that I had a magical road, unfurling between me and my destination, that would rise above the city like a silver arch, so as to bring me to the end point of the route in time dt.

But the reality then, as now, is that cars follow roads—and even when we’re trying to get to our destination as quickly as possible, there are roads with twists and turns and potholes. And that’s one of the realities of life, but something we should also consider when cultivating our self-esteem. We may want to look at the horizon and move straight there, but one thing is certain, there will be detours.

Let’s remind ourselves that a non-linear path doesn’t mean it’s wrong, it’s just a normal course in life’s journey.

  • You don’t feel the way you thought you would. The right visualization also needs emotion, beyond visualization and images, that’s why many times when we think about what it will be like when we reach our goal, we simultaneously imagine how we will feel when we end up enjoying the self-esteem we cultivate. Perhaps we imagine ourselves physically different, more emotionally positive, or in any case generally better.

However, these projections, while useful in showing us what areas we want to focus on, are not representative of the actual ways in which we may experience our self-esteem growth. Too often, we can get caught up in the exact outcome we want instead of focusing on the process and noticing where it leads us.

And just as with physical changes, so with emotional ones, we may be portraying an outcome that is not part of our genetics. That doesn’t mean we can’t experience the changes we’re looking for—they just might look different than we think.

  • No one can tell us how to do it. You go to the therapist’s office, explain your goals, and then eagerly wait for him to tell you how to achieve them. Again, stop, take a deep breath, and remember that no one can change us – we are the only ones capable of doing this, we are the only ones who can truly instigate the change we desire.

It is important to note that if low self-esteem and the negative feelings that come with it, remain strong despite any self-help efforts, then it is necessary to seek the advice of a specialist therapist with experience in this field.