The holidays are supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. They are days of rest, abstinence from the madness of everyday life, contact with loved ones, forgetfulness, joy, exchange of gifts, making memories.

Such a thing, however, does not seem to be the case, because joy is not a magic switch that we turn and suddenly all the problems have disappeared. The holidays are indeed a beautiful time, but at the same time so intense that many feel as if they are under pressure to feel good by force. All this energy can cause a lot of painful feelings.

After all, not everyone has loved ones in their lives to meet or the financial comfort to organize big tables and fancy celebrations. Therefore, not only are they unable to enjoy the magic of Christmas, but this season actually increases their unhappiness, or lack thereof. And these people are the ones who have the most need to feel the magic of the holidays. Fortunately, there is a way.

The Every Girl has rounded up the top tips from experts on how to get through the holiday grind and have the best time possible this Christmas:

  • If the holidays leave you feeling stressed and exhausted

You probably expect a lot from this period. “The holidays are stressful because there are so many ‘shoulds’ around them,” explains relationship and communication expert Chloe Ballatore. “They have rituals and repetitive activities. But do these actions really serve your own pleasure?’ Determine which ones you believe you “must” do for yourself and for no other reason. Prioritize your own well-being above and beyond general expectations and try not to do anything you just feel you “have to” do.

In The Everygirl Podcast, neuropsychologist dr. Sanam Hafeez stresses that dealing with stress during the festive season is similar to dealing with stress at any time of the year. “You don’t have to say yes to every invitation. My advice for the holidays is the same as for the rest of the year: Put yourself first.” If you feel exhausted, limit your personal time and say no to things you don’t really want to do.

  • If you have a negative relationship with food

Undoubtedly, celebrations traditionally involve a lot of food. However, this can have a really negative impact on those who have a bad relationship with it. According to dietitian Tayler Silfverduk, who specializes in eating disorders, one trigger during the holidays is people who constantly serve food and won’t accept that you don’t eat it. Even if they have good intentions, the result is ultimately negative. Remind your family that your body and nutritional needs are not up for debate. Eat carefully and don’t fail to remind yourself that food is and should remain something enjoyable. Food stress is worse for your body than any treat.

  • If family gatherings strain you

We all know how pleasant, but also how unpleasant, a family gathering can turn out to be. Some relatives can really tire you out, and you may sometimes feel that family gatherings are draining you. Wellness expert Missy McCrickard suggests setting boundaries with annoying relatives or simply removing yourself from unpleasant situations. “Say ‘no thanks’ or ‘I’m not going to take part in this conversation.’ You can also delimit in advance with the people closest to you topics that you do not wish to be touched upon during family meals, in order to prevent awkward situations.

  • If you feel lonely

Whether this time of year reminds you more strongly of people who are no longer with you, or serves as a reminder that you don’t have the relationships you would like in your life, this period can be ruled by a strong feeling of loneliness. The psychologist dr. Rebecca Leslie says the antidote is any connection that gives you satisfaction. Spend the holidays with people who love and support you. “If you feel alone, know that you are not the only one who feels this way,” says Dr. Leslie. “Treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Talk to him like you would your siblings or best friends. Spend time doing the activities that make you happy, with your loved ones, and say ‘no’ to anything that doesn’t bring you pleasure.”

  • If you are facing financial difficulties

For better or worse, the holidays come with a financial strain. Often, we like to show our love by splurging: Brave supermarkets for extravagant tables, gifts for our loved ones, decorations for the home and so much more. Beyond the shopping list, we also spend money on new clothes, parties, travel and more. The solution is simple, according to psychotherapist Sara Kuburic: “You don’t have to go beyond your budget. You can be honest with your loved ones about what you can and cannot pay for and find deliveries and activities that are more affordable or even completely free.”

Whatever spoils your Christmas magic, remember that self-care is vital, especially during times of extreme stress. Create relaxation and wellness routines in your daily life, so you can keep the good things from this festive season of the year.