After all, they say that “hope always dies last”. How much good does hope and optimism actually do us in our relationships? How many times do we hear “She didn’t treat me well, I hope she changes…” or “She doesn’t feel the same way about me, but I’ll be optimistic, things will work out.”

Instead of relying on tangible evidence and facts, you rely on hope, an idea, a contradictory feeling, completely uncertain. The hope and optimism you have for the development of a relationship disturbs the logical evaluation of your relationships. Being an optimistic person is generally a great thing. However, if you’re one of those people who believe that most people have good intentions and don’t want to hurt others, you may find yourself even more willing to ignore the obvious signs that someone isn’t willing to give what you expect.

Thus, the hope that a relationship will change and become better, or that it will come to your liking with time, puts it in a vicious circle and makes it eternal. It condemns it to a stagnant state without a trace of improvement or development. She just waits and endures to get all that she deserves.

Delusional optimism in relationships

Delusional optimism is a decision-making concept studied by Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman. The psychologist, expert in the psychology of crisis and author of the brilliant international bestseller “Thinking Fast and Slow”, argues that people tend to be overly optimistic about the results of their decisions. Which can lead to bad choices and many negative consequences.

These are people that no adversity has managed to make them take a distance and assess the situation correctly. Their obsession with hope and their belief that they will “win” in the end acts as a permanent blinder, allowing them to continue the same habit that has already destroyed their lives. And so they stay in relationships that don’t fulfill them, in friendships that don’t care, in jobs that pressure them and in situations that simply wear them down.

They become “victims” of the situation, because they cling to hope and do not make the effort to leave, change, evolve, claim. They simply visualize their goals as a destination to be conquered, without entering into the process of the journey.

Living with hope can temporarily ease the pain and rejection

Living with hope doesn’t just create a nice feeling with dreams and wishes. It seems addictive, because it helps you block out experiences that don’t “go according to plan.”

Hope in relationships can be a great thing, but only when accompanied by a healthy processing of reality as it unfolds. So if you feel that the only thing that binds you to a relationship or situation is hope, the best thing to do is to leave it behind. Ahead, are all those waiting for you to conquer.