They say that every person who passes through our lives is a lesson. It comes suddenly and fills our soul with light and colors. It opens, shares, gives and gives birth to precious emotions.

And then he leaves. Sometimes suddenly and maybe, sometimes, without explanation. Perhaps, again, you know the reason. It matters little. Every (separation) is a small death. It has pain and change. Change external, but also internal. Your insides turn upside down. Your daily life is called to adapt to the new data. Lots of changes. Difficult ones. Even if the end was “logical” or inevitable, the soul is never ready to part with something it has learned to love.

After the initial shock, comes the battle. The mood changes, it becomes almost aggressive. End now with sadness. Now you “must” forget, recover, move on. You are not allowed to feel anything negative. Hard feelings are defeat. You “must” sweep them under the rug and convince everyone that you are fine. And especially the figure looking at you in your mirror.

Is this an ego game? Or maybe because of the need to constantly prove how invulnerable, how unscathed we are? We have learned to look down on emotions as if they were some kind of disease. We raise the flag of apathy like a trophy. As if whoever “forgets” the fastest wins. As if not feeling anything has a reward.

Everything goes according to plan for a while (or a long time). Until one day, inevitably, almost fatally, you trip on the carpet. Yes, the one you hid underneath all the feelings you pretended not to have. That which hides the truth you renounced. And if you look, you will see that along with sadness and anger, you also hid love. That wonderful feeling you had for the one who chose to leave.

And then, the truth is revealed. Not that you ever forgot her. But now you see her before you: Nothing left, nothing faded. All the feelings you felt, all the things you shared are still there staring you in the face. No matter how hard you tried to deny them.

And now tell me, really, when did love hurt you and you wanted to bury it? How can it do any harm? You treated her like an evil demon, to be fought, to punish the one who left. And, in the end, what did you accomplish? Punish yourself. To empty your soul of everything beautiful it has ever felt.

Love, however, is actually a wonderful gift. A legacy left to you by the one who chooses to continue his life somewhere else. And, in return, he takes a piece of your soul with him. Fair trade, right?

If I were to choose a few words today to say to those who left, they would probably be these: Thank you for what you made me feel. Without you, I might never have felt them. It wasn’t easy learning to live with your absence, but I don’t hold a grudge against you. What you gave me is much more important than what you took from me. Thank you for the most precious gift you could ever give me. And when they ask me “when will you finally forget?”, now I know what to answer: “Never!”. Because my love for you will live forever in my heart. And so, you’ll never really leave.