As humans, we all have different personalities, likes and dislikes — and that is what makes us unique and special.
However, sometimes it makes sense to categorize people as a means of understanding what commonalities they share and can facilitate their connection to others. A common way to categorize people is into extroverted and introverted personalities. This important difference in the character of each other in terms of comfort with interpersonal relationships and occupations, can make partners in an introverted-extroverted relationship wonder if the mismatch can eventually work in the long run.
According to relationship therapist Tracy Ross, introverted-extroverted relationships are quite common and this may be due to the fact that people crave balance.
“Introverts and extroverts are attracted to each other because of their differences,” says Ross. In a way, this need for balance can work very well in a couple, as the extrovert can help the introvert when he feels the need for more socialization on his agenda and the introvert can support the extrovert when he feels depressed from his intercourse.
This scenario, however, can lead to some relationship problems – especially when the partners do not communicate honestly with each other. “Communication is the backbone of any relationship,” says Ross. “Communication really means understanding each other’s needs, understanding and respecting that you are different, and accepting yourself in order to learn to adapt when needed.”
While introverted-extroverted relationships are possible with healthy communication, there are potential hurdles you need to be aware of if you are in such a situation.
1. Compromise in social commitments
“For an extrovert, it’s not just exciting to meet new people – it’s a way to refuel,” says Ross. This is why extroverts may want to go out more than their introverted partner. Regardless of the role you play in the introvert-extrovert relationship, understanding is essential.
If you are extroverted, it will help you to remember that your partner is more likely to be exhausted by frequent social interactions and to respect his desire not to follow you every time. Give your partner a little more time when you want to go somewhere together and do not suggest it to him at the last minute, since the introvert needs more time to prepare mentally and psychologically for social interactions.
Similarly, if you are introverted in the relationship, it is important to understand that your partner may need social interaction to recharge his batteries. You may realize that doing something that will please your partner, even if it is not your first choice, will give him joy and he will appreciate your effort.
2. The feeling of castration of the introvert from the interactions of the extrovert
There is often a perception that extroverted qualities are preferable in various social situations. With this in mind, we understand that introverts may feel castrated by their social partner in social settings. “The key here,” says Ross, “is to remember that both sides have their strengths and the situations in which they shine, social gatherings are simply the trump card of extroverts.”
3. Different approaches to arguments
Ross says extroverts tend to say whatever comes to mind during a fight, because one way they process information is by listening to themselves talk about it.
Introverts, however, usually do not respond unless they are sure of how they feel or think about an issue. Thus, when an extrovert is ready to speak, an introvert may not be — and this may lay the groundwork for later quarrels.
One of the reasons this can lead to another controversy is that extroverts may view an introvert’s silence as a sign of indifference. What is more likely, however, is that the introvert distinguishes how he feels so that he can respond, rather than react (and that may be good).
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