Narcissism and psychopathy are dark triad traits associated with lying, cheating, and unethical behaviors in numerous research studies, with psychopathy being a strong predictor of lying.

For people on the dark triad spectrum and characterized by narcissistic traits, lies are often used as an end in themselves: They may function as a means of improving image, covering up a deception or infidelity, and obtaining romantic partners who may not otherwise be interested, through tactics like love bombing and future promises.

pathological liars, on the other hand, they may lie for no apparent reason and often engage in elaborate schemes for personal gain. Their lies may more often be used to lead a double life or carry out an elaborate scam. Pathological lying also creates positive emotions. Pathological liars may even experience a sense of thrill or pleasure in deceiving others.

Shahida Arabi, a graduate of Harvard University and Columbia University, researcher and author of the book “Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse” reveals in Thought Catalog three subtle signs that indicate that you may be dating a narcissist or a pathological liar:

  • Unnecessary lies and defensiveness: Examples of dishonesty for no apparent reason are red flags. You may notice that your partner uses a lot of “little white lies”. When it comes to these people, you’ll have a hard time separating fact from fiction. A pathological liar may use lies for no apparent reason. Of course, there may be a reason. Regardless, when you start wondering, she’s likely to get defensive and try to drive you crazy. Such scenarios go beyond simple lying and are due to a pathological need for power, a desire to control the narrative.
  • Inconsistent and overcomplicated stories: The lying nature of narcissists and pathological liars is often revealed by their actions. For example, a pathological liar will quickly tell you that he has found his other half in you, which is why he wants you to live together, while it will soon become clear that he is just taking advantage of cohabitation because it is convenient for him. A narcissist, on the other hand, will make big promises about the future, but will find themselves in a very awkward position when called upon to keep them. Pay attention if your partner’s stories seem overly complicated or inconsistent. Narcissists and pathological liars often invent elaborate stories, which gradually begin to show inconsistencies when repeated. When you challenge what they say, you’ll be met with outrage or a quick cover-up story, usually not very convincing. Maybe their stories seem overly elaborate or pretentious in a way that instinctively makes you question their true motives.
  • Victims masquerading as abusers or moral superiority: One of the biggest, yet subtlest signs that can easily go unnoticed is that the narcissist or psychopath themselves will actually admit their nature, but not in the way you think. In his own version of history, he is the victim and always others are the perpetrators. Give, moreover, a basis for the great words about morality that you may hear. Those who are truly sincere do not feel the need to “shout” it.

By recognizing these signs, you can better assess whether you are dealing with a narcissist or a pathological liar.