Surely you will have succeeded somewhere in the case of Shimon Hayut, also known as Tinder Swindler, in a central News Bulletin or on social media. The user of the dating app from Israel is circulating everywhere as news, as Netflix has made a documentary about the stories of women from which it has extracted huge sums of money.
For two years, Hayut convinced women that he was the wealthy billionaire Simon Leviev, luring his victims into lavish dates and using majestic romantic gestures in the early stages of their relationship to gain their trust.
From eating out the best restaurants and staying in luxury hotels to huge bouquets and traveling by private jet, Hayut’s cheating has become the first news on the internet – and especially how he is the perfect example of a “lover” bombing you with love moves.
“Love bombardment is when a person gives you a disproportionate amount of attention and acts of love too early in a relationship,” says dating expert Abi Blears.
“It’s a common manipulation technique used by narcissists and toxic people as a means of creating a strong romantic bond so that they can control and direct the other person along the way.”
While Hayut can be an extreme example of such a person you will meet in real life, many wander among us, entering our lives long before we realize the depths of their deception.
How do you understand the signs you need to pay attention to when someone is bombarding you with love gestures?
1. It fills you with gifts and praise early in the relationship
“Too early in the date, he floods you with praise and gifts, as if he wants to hurt you and treat you like a princess,” says Blears. “You may feel that all this is too good to be true, as if you were coming out with a character from a romantic movie. “If it seems too unrealistic to be true and unsustainable over time, it probably is.”
2. It moves very fast
Blears says that people who bombard you with such tactics tend to push the pace of the relationship too quickly, wanting to create something formal from the first date. They usually move very fast and that is why you may feel that it is not something you are used to until now. “It’s like they decided to bet on everything, even though they may not really know you well enough to make an informed decision,” she added.
3. Communicates a lot with you
“They can become more demanding with your time, calling you and texting you several times a day to see how you are and what you are doing,” warns Blears. They often claim that they miss you, that they do not satisfy you or perhaps state that they believe that you are soulmates.
4. It identifies with your views and agrees with everything you say
While the idea of ​​dating someone who thinks similar to you is appealing, there are definitely limits to that. “People who bombard you with gestures of extreme love can be extremely cautious and pleasant, and all their views and needs seem to be exactly the same as yours,” says Blears. “It can either make you think they think just like you, or it can make you suspect that they are not being honest with their views.”
5. Your friends are worried about your relationship
If your friends are worried about your relationship, this is definitely something to look out for, according to Blears. “This is especially true if your friends usually do not. A third party who cares about you and is not directly involved in it, can certainly be more reasonable and objective.
It is important to stay grounded and realistic. This can be difficult if the relationship becomes physically intimate from an early age or if you do not have space or time away from the other. Create the space and see how it affects the dynamics between you. If you are going to be with someone for the rest of your life, there is rarely a good reason to rush.
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