Sitting in the lobby of the dingy gym she runs in the middle of the New Mexico desert, the 34-year-old Kristen Stewart she seems to dream of a life away from such a painful place.

All around her, sweaty bodies submit to the “dictatorship of fitness” and inject themselves with steroids to obey the doctrine that there is no gain without pain. The scene is set in the United States in the late 1980s, in the post-Reaganism years, but could take place anywhere in the world today.

These are the first scenes from “Love Lies Bleeding,” the amazing movie that hit theaters on April 12, starring a Stewart who no longer looks like the one we knew.

Other actresses would have been horrified by the violent and over-the-top material, which includes wild sex, serial killings, and more. But she was fearless. “I was amused by this wretched nightmare, even if that’s not all. When I read the script, it seemed to me that it contained a lot of things.”she said.

“In every interview I get asked, ‘What do you want people to take away from the film?’ I guess they want me to answer that my works aspire to change the world, to make us better people. But we don’t make films for that, but to ask ourselves questions about who we are, to recognize ourselves in them. I liked that the film was morally ambiguous. As women, we are always asked to do the right thing. That doesn’t happen to men.”

The actress says she works in an industry that wants to make money, but she does her best to bring innovation to everything she does.

“I’m just an actress, I’m a hired gun. I’ve done a lot of commercial cinema and I haven’t enjoyed some of that experience. I don’t want to make movies that are just entertainment. Making movies is a lot of fun, but having to make the same movie over and over again is demoralizing, inhumane, and horrible.” Does this mean she only chose movies that scared her? “In the beginning it was like that, I only chose what I found impressive, but I’m getting over it. It’s fun to take risks, but it’s also nice to work on a film and then enjoy the result.”he adds.

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In her latest roles, the distinction between actor and character is blurred, as was the case with Hollywood’s big stars in the past. Katharine Hepburn was always playing a role, but she was also always herself. Just like Bette Davis in the 1940s or Jane Fonda in the 1970s.

“I believe you can’t be anyone but yourself. I feel like when I walk away from myself I fail, like the goal is always to dig deeper and deeper until I find something real. Yes, it’s me in all the movies. And all of them are part of me.” ends up.