All kinds of trends and challenges circulate on the internet, through which “we can become a better version of ourselves”. A typical example is the January trends, which usually have to do with abstaining from alcoholic beverages or choosing a vegan diet – who doesn’t want to lose the extra pounds they gained during the holidays?

One fad that is becoming increasingly popular, especially among younger internet users, is to…abstain from sex for the duration of November.

What is No Nut November?

The No Nut November Challenge (NNC) started as an idea around 2017. Those who decide to try this particular challenge have only one thing to do: abstain from masturbation and – depending on one’s interpretation – from sex for the entire month of November .

Many may find NNN ridiculous, as does self-proclaimed men’s “mentor” Maurice Merkert. But he has been doing the challenge for years, as have his online followers, men of various ages and backgrounds, who decide to try NNN “because they realize something is wrong,” as Merkert says.

On the internet, men come into contact with all kinds of pornographic material and sexual content. And NNN, which puts you in the process of avoiding those types of stimuli, can help improve your habits, Merkert says. “The point is to connect your sexual energy with your heart and learn to relax in ways other than self-gratification” – for example by playing a sport or taking a yoga class. And gradually one can thus have a more conscious sex life.

#Boysober: Avoiding men

Another challenge that has recently started is “Boy Sober”. Any heterosexual women who decide to try it are asked not to have sexual relations or contact with men. The goal? To improve their self-esteem, instead of losing themselves trying to adapt to the demands of their date.

While for men dating is sexual confirmation, women tend more towards a certain independence of movements, as sociologist Marina Thomas explains. “They don’t want to be emotionally involved with men anymore.” For women, relationships can also be quite emotionally draining. “Women who try #boysober stop worrying about other people’s problems and focus on themselves again.”

The “traditional” types of relationships seem to no longer cover even the younger generations, who prefer relationships such as “situationships” (a romantic relationship without particular commitment) or “friends with benefits” (a friendly relationship that can sometimes include and a sexual aspect), as Thomas explains. “Young people no longer want traditional relationship models with their respective patriarchal gender roles. Bonding is now seen as associated with stress and pressure – while lack of binding is associated with freedom.”

However, as trends such as #boysober and NNN show, many are not even covered by these new forms of relationships. “Sexual abstinence suddenly has value – and we’re also seeing something new: the downsides of too much sex.” When there is too much of something, people tend to value it less.

Abstinence from sex is nothing new

However, according to sex expert Jörg Zygnerski-Kriger, abstinence from sex is nothing new. The question is whether such challenges have any effect.

“I don’t think there’s any point in abstaining from sex for abstinence’s sake,” says Zygnerski-Kriger. Such challenges must be done with a specific purpose.

From a medical point of view, abstinence from sex has no benefit. “Sex is good for health – it raises cortisol, which in turn reduces stress. In addition, the hormones associated with the feeling of satisfaction are released – and it is an athletic activity anyway.’

One positive consequence of abstinence could be a reduction in sexually transmitted diseases – “but this can be achieved in other ways, without having to abstain from sex”.

The most important thing is sex education

According to Zygnerski-Kriger, the most important thing of all is the correct sexual education of young people – and by extension, sexual self-determination. “Only when someone can identify themselves sexually is they able to perceive all the aspects that such challenges can have – and decide accordingly if and which of them they want to try.”

Edited by: Giorgos Passas