Nicole Kidman revealed that she often wakes up with thoughts of her own mortality. The 57-year-old actress posed for the cover of British GQ ‘Men of the Year 2024’.

The star, now 50, said her outlook on life has changed. The mother of four talked about coming to terms with her emotions when asked why she feels things more deeply now.

The actress explained: “Life sometimes comes and gives you a ‘blow’. Losing parents, raising children, marriage make you a more sensitive person. Life is definitely a journey. And as you get older, you become more vulnerable… You wake up at 3 in the morning crying. You have a numbness and I’m in it.”

Nicole Kidman she again addressed mortality as she reflected on how losing her parents and raising her own children changed her outlook on life. “When you’re raising kids you think, “I have to stay here. I want to see all this”. It’s devastating and beautiful at the same time.”

The actress has lost both her parents. Her father died in 2014, while her mother, Janelle, passed away last September at the age of 84. She has two daughters with Keith Urban, whom she married in 2006. The Oscar-winning actress also has two other children – adopted – with ex-husband Tom Cruise.

Nicole Kidman

Reflecting on the days after her father’s death, Kidman recalled a moment when her daughters, who were four and six at the time, saw her cry. “The little one couldn’t tell if I was pretending, while the older one didn’t want to see me sad. They didn’t want there to be sadness in the house.” On the loss of her mother she pointed out that she was her “compass” and that she loved and supported her career.

Nicole Kidman

“He was my compass in a way. What she wanted for my sister and me was to create women in this world who felt like they could express themselves and have opportunities, especially things that she didn’t have from her generation.”

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