Receiving negative feedback and negative feedback is not always easy to manage. No matter how many times we tell ourselves that criticism – whether right or wrong – may be to our advantage, it is easy for our ego to get in the way or, even worse, for our brain to start thinking too much and analyzes the critique more than necessary.
This form of excessive thinking often means that we take much more than what has been said and draw our own conclusions. But there are ways to limit this.
Amanda E. White, LPC and author of Not Drinking Tonight, shared a handy hack on how to deal with negative feedback and ways to avoid taking it so personally.
Speaking to TikTok, White shares her method with her followers in a video that has gained over 23,000 views.
“This is my favorite hack for when you receive a negative comment and try not to take it personally. “Take a notebook and create two columns – on one, write down what was said and what the comments were, and on the other hand, write down your interpretation.”
@therapyforwomen Lmk what you think! #tiktoktherapist #tiktoktherapy #therapist # therapy # selfesteem ♬ original sound – Amanda E. White LPC Therapist
White then shared an example of the negative comments she received, saying: “I received negative comments about my book. Someone said something specific, that he did not like the format of my book. That was said. But what really hurt me was actually my interpretation of this feedback. My interpretation of what they said was that I am a bad writer. Then, to make matters worse, I thought about how I might not have published this book. Maybe I should not have published another book. Maybe I should not talk about the book again. “Because people will not like it.”
Using this example, White clarifies that what was said and what she interpreted was very different and highlighted the ways in which we can receive feedback and how imposter syndrome and insecurities can lead us to do certain things. bigger than it is.
“We can greatly reduce our pain when we manage to separate the reality of what happened and our interpretation,” he says.
Many shared how they started using this hack to deal with the negative feedback they have received at work.
“I think I’m very good at accepting criticism, but when it comes to work I think I’m so insecure that I read a lot more than I should,” said one user. “It’s so impressive to actually write what was said in relation to what I subtracted from it to get a little clarity.”
Another user wrote: “This is such a quick and easy hack to get some insight into your thoughts and feelings and what was actually said. We can get so caught up in our own minds and that is starting to dominate us. I will definitely apply it at work from now on “.
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