Elections generate silencing and generational splits in families

Keeping quiet about politics was the strategy adopted by Marcelo Moretti Fioroni, 52, to live with his father, an 82-year-old Bolsonarista. Disagreement generated discussions and a feeling of loneliness and anguish.

“There are times when I argue and I get to chat with him. I never imagined doing that”, says the engineer, who started doing therapy before the Covid pandemic and saw crises due to political debates become the predominant subject of the sessions. “I have become the red sheep of the family.”

Evandro Botteon, 37, and mother-in-law Solange Sales Araújo, 61, also signed a pact of silence two months ago, after an argument during a family dinner in Campinas turned into a mess that made the son-in-law leave the place. The next day came the cry of regret and the request for forgiveness.

The oil worker says he is a person “crossed by politics” and that relations in the family have been intensified since 2018, when Jair Bolsonaro (PL) was elected.

The lawyer says that she avoids mentioning the president’s name so as not to generate discomfort and that she has no problem having children and sisters with a different position. To avoid fights with them, supporters of Lula (PT), says they have silenced notifications on WhatsApp.

In the family of Cláudia Alvarenga, 53, the silence on politics began longer ago, since October 28, 2018, when a sister-in-law and a sister shared posts celebrating Bolsonaro’s election, countered with critical comments by the entrepreneur’s daughters.

“The problem is not having a different position. It’s just that dialogue is scarce, and uncomfortable situations and feelings are pushed under the rug”, says Alvarenga. For her, therapy does not resolve the issue, which affects sleep and causes irritation. Evangelical, has turned to the spiritual side.

Marina, 20, one of the daughters involved in the episode, defines the family relationship as rigid, with rules about what can or cannot be said in meetings. She says she was blocked on the networks by her aunt, who didn’t want to talk to the reporter.

“To this day I feel a little uncomfortable, but much less than before. I understand that they are different positions and that I’m not here to convince anyone on one side or the other, but it’s bad, because I wanted us to be able to talk, which unfortunately it doesn’t.”

Hell is the word used by makeup artist Juliana Thais, 27, a resident of São José dos Campos, to define the year 2018. She says she cried with the insults of her father, a Bolsonarista. Two months ago, she decided to distance herself and live with her fiancé, which improved her relationship with her family member, marked by provocations.

Juliana’s mother, housewife Tamára Ulrich Paes dos Santos, 51, identifies as right-wing. But instead of expressing her point of view, she says she tries to maintain neutrality at home, because the family situation “causes sadness”, with her husband “more aggressive with relatives than with outsiders”. For her, there is immaturity on one side and intolerance on the other.

According to a Datafolha survey conducted in person with 2,556 people at the end of July, 49% of voters stopped talking about politics with people close to them. The situation affects 54% of those who vote for Lula and 40% of those who support Bolsonaro. Of the total, 15% said they had received a verbal threat, and 7%, a physical threat. Situations of embarrassment by political positions in recent months were reported by 54%.

Professor at the Institute of Psychiatry and coordinator of the postgraduate program in psychiatry and mental health at UFRJ, William Berger says that society has seen politics as something dichotomous and that fights and resentments generate psychological suffering, which, obviously, worsens the quality of life.

“Social support is one of the main shields we have against mental disorders. The greater your bond with family and friends, the more protected you are against the onset of mental disorders.”

For clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst Clara Lins, ending conflicts is impossible and, therefore, the biggest problem is how we deal with them, especially when used to discharge destructive impulses.

“We see a growing feeling of helplessness and loneliness, a weakening of the bond. Of course, this will generate an increase in physical, psychosomatic and emotional symptoms.”

Psychiatrist Vanessa Flarea Favaro, director of the outpatient clinics of the Institute of Psychiatry, Hospital das Clínicas, Faculty of Medicine, USP, emphasizes that this scenario is even more impactful for young people, as it is a moment in life for the formation of citizenship and more social participation. wide.

“Young people already have naturally more emotional emotions, so they end up getting very distressed, because they want to take a stand. They are very passionate about the people they defend”, she says.

Despite this reading, sociologist Esther Solano, a professor at Unifesp and one of the coordinators of the qualitative research “Youth and Democracy in Latin America”, carried out with young people aged 16 to 24 from Brazil, Argentina, Colombia and Mexico, says that the study showed another reality.

“Young bolsonaristas who have Lula parents and vice versa simply don’t talk about politics in the family. What I perceive is a silencing. They prefer to talk in other social circles than discuss at home”, she says, adding that they also censor themselves at school. , which he claims is a legacy of the Escola Sem Partido movement, which provides for punishments for teachers who proselytize politically in the classroom.

Because they have a more combative profile, young people can manifest anxiety and even panic attacks, says Berger, from UFRJ. Among the elderly, the tendency is to become more isolated and have depression. In the face of stressful situations due to politics, experts emphasize that it is necessary to observe how these conflicts impact other daily activities, since there is a risk of strokes and heart attacks.

“When we are chronically stressed, there are changes in the body. Thus, we are more likely to develop pressure problems or problems related to metabolism, which causes many cardiovascular diseases”, says Favaro, from Hospital das Clínicas.

The psychiatrist says that it is necessary to learn to relax despite tension and create ways to take care of mental health more broadly.

Berger, in turn, points out that symptoms such as irritability, sleep interference and a high level of daily tiredness show the need to seek help. General care includes social support, physical activity, and other options such as meditation and psychotherapy.

“The first step is to recognize that we are not invulnerable. Then we must try to reduce the stigma attached to mental disorders.”