“Living apart but together”, i.e. having a serious relationship but living in a different house from your lover, is the “key” of good mental health for couples third ageas a new major survey conducted in the United Kingdom finds.

Couples who meet in third age and they decide to do not cohabithave greater mental health benefits compared to those who are married or cohabiting. And this, because there are no “frictions”, “intense daily interactions” and obligations to care for the other.

These couples also avoid the “legal obligations and institutional commitments” that make it difficult to escape an unhappy marriage, according to the study by Professor Yang Hu of Lancaster University and Dr Rory Coulter of University College London.

Challenging the notion that older people prefer more “conventional” options which include marriage and cohabitationthe survey found that when over-60s start a new relationship, “living apart” is the most popular choice and is 10 times more likely than marriage.

For example, actress Helena Bonham Carter and director Tim Parton lived apart but close during their 13-year marriage.

And the Miriam Margeliz she lives apart from her partner Heather Sutherland for more than 50 years, although last year the Harry Potter star said the couple wanted to live together, the Guardian points out.

The new research was based on data of UK households and couples over 60, their relationships and mental health between 2011 and 2023. And it’s the first time the topic has been looked at on a national scale.

What’s also interesting about the study is that among the elderly who lived apart, 64% lived within 30 minutes of each other, and there was equality.