How is social etiquette after mask is no longer mandatory

What was seen on the face of those who leave home after the São Paulo government decreed the end of the obligation to wear masks is the expression of questioning. Kisses on the cheeks still seem like a distant reality in street encounters. No one shakes anyone’s hand with the same conviction as before.

The protocols that were mandatory may have influenced a new code of conduct and coexistence. Doubts about how to proceed change with each meeting. But the behavioral experts consulted for this report are unanimous about at least one new habit: you need to keep the mask in your pocket, because you may need it not out of obligation, but out of politeness.

There are still people who are afraid and this fact must be respected, experts say. “We are living the etiquette of fear and precaution”, says journalist and fashion consultant Gloria Kalil, a reference in the area of ​​behavior, in defense of patience in the face of unexpected situations.

Hesitation when greeting with a kiss on the cheek or a handshake is one of the best examples. Kalil rules out the possibility that the kiss will fall into disuse forever, but points out that this habit has gained restrictions. “Before, even in formal situations it was accepted. I think the kiss will have space in our future, but it’s still early. In a formal or work situation, kissing on the cheek today is invasive.”

If situations in public space have presented themselves in a variety of ways, the ability to observe has gained relevance. “Everything is a matter of groping, we are entering a new situation again”, he says. “If it’s your close person, it’s okay to shake hands. If not, it’s better to keep your distance.”

The head nod has been a chic alternative. “This distance in more formal situations can continue. And, if you hold the hand and the person doesn’t want to shake it, don’t be offended. It’s a reflection of a condition of the pandemic years”. For the consultant, there is no room for grievances of this nature now. “You don’t know what that person went through if they lost someone.”

Kalil doesn’t think it’s impolite to charge a vaccination card for guests at meetings and parties. But having a party and charging the obligation to wear a mask is no longer so cool, she says. “Probably people will eat, they will drink. If you’re still afraid, then it’s better not to host the party,” she says. She also advises that the number of people expected for the situation be indicated to the guests when inviting. “And nice.”

Sympathy is an instrument that must always be at hand. For etiquette teacher Fábio Arruda, there is an elegant and friendly way to approach someone you know without being intimidating.

“You might as well ask: how are you doing? Are you saying hello or not?”, he simulates. He has no problem refusing to shake someone’s hand. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed by the other’s liberality. And this is a rule that applies to everything in life”, he says.

Again, appeal to intuition. “There are signs. There are people who approach, there are people who are already farther away. In the corporate world, there is only kiss here in Brazil. In the rest of the world this is inconceivable. Read these signs. If the person is wearing a mask, it is obvious that she doesn’t want to greet you, don’t shake hands or kiss”, he says.

If the pandemic changed any of our habits permanently? “I think there will be people, even if few people, who will not abandon the mask”, he predicts.

Hence the advice to keep a mask always within reach is essential. “If it’s an act of respect and if it’s necessary, and if the person demands that I wear the mask in some situation, I won’t demean myself. If it’s in my interest, I’ll put it on. What does it cost you to keep a mask in your bag or in your pocket. Will you miss a meeting if you’re asked to put on your mask?”

Finally, easing the use of masks will also require hotels, stores and other establishments to determine hygiene and socializing protocols necessary to protect those who use their space, recalls etiquette teacher Ângela Pimentel. It will be important “so that everyone can exercise the right and come and go”.

Kiss, hug, handshake

CONVIVIATION AND Etiquette IN A WORLD WITHOUT OBLIGATION TO WEAR A MASK

Kiss on the face maybe?

In more formal situations, it used to be allowed to use the two kisses, as in Cariocas, or a kiss, as was done in São Paulo. Now, don’t kiss in formal situations. Among friends and family, feel freer, but don’t complain if the person to be kissed backs off.

What to do if I’m not wearing a mask and someone sneezes or coughs next to me?

Measure risk before it happens, especially when there are a lot of unknown people around. It is not impolite to back off or walk away from someone who has any symptoms of the disease.

If I’m visiting a friend, should I ask if a mask is required?

Arrive at the host’s house with the mask and wait for him to say if it’s okay to take it off. In the case of the host, it is ok to ask if the guest is vaccinated and ask for the use of the mask, considering, however, that the guest may prefer not to make the visit.

How should those who offer or take a ride behave?

If you are going to accept a ride from someone, go with a mask and wait for the driver to release you from the obligation to use it. The one who arrives takes the initiative. It’s not wrong to ask for windows to stay open.

Is it possible to shake hands with someone without hesitation?

When you’re intimate with the person, it’s okay. After groping the situation, even hugs are worth it. If you don’t have intimacy, it’s better to keep your distance and use a nod.

Can I refuse to shake hands with a stranger in any social situation?

If you don’t feel safe, you can. The advice here goes to the other: don’t be offended.

If I’m having a party, is it impolite to ask for a vaccination card for the guests?

It is more impolite to ask to wear a mask, as it is customary to drink and eat at celebrations. If you’re not sure, don’t have the party or the meeting. Asking for a vaccination card is valid and even recommended, so that guests feel more comfortable. However, it’s not worth complaining about those who didn’t go.

What else can I do if I’m hosting a meeting or party?

It’s nice to let the guest know about the size of the celebration, say if a lot of people were invited or not, so that everyone can decide according to their fears and preferences.