Asking For A Friend is a series of answers to the questions you’ve always wanted to ask.
In most cases, it should be easy to imagine the future with your partner.
You can see buying a house and building it from scratch, or imagine a couple traveling the world together. It is easy to talk about these things and dream.
There is less debate about whether they want to start a family together at some point.
Disagreements on this topic can be catastrophic and difficult to explain.
“Deciding to have a child is one of the most life-changing decisions of all, and having a child can be a very daunting prospect,” said the Open University community, says Jacquie Gabby, professor of sociology and intimacy and director of relationships . for the Couples app.
She tells him that conversations can be even more difficult if he doesn’t know what his loved ones think about the problem.
“Having children can be a very important goal for the people involved, but it is inconsistent with the future vision of others,” she says.
“If having or not having children interferes with one or both people in a relationship, it can lead to division.”
It’s a very scary and potentially tragic prospect, but if you have a strong feeling about whether you want a child, it’s important to have a final conversation and you’re in your relationship and in your life. Depending on where you are, you may need it. . It will be faster than it will be.
But it’s still pretty hard to ask when, especially if you’re unfamiliar with the relationship and worried about scaring others.
It can be even more difficult if you start a long-term relationship at a young age. The idea of having a child is still completely foreign to you, but when you have been with your partner for more than five years, when is the right time to start talking about “one day”?
For Jackie, it’s not all purpose.
“The first date is a little early to start drawing your future with a virtual stranger, but waiting too long can cause a lot of pain,” he says.
“If you want to get along with this person long-term, this is a good place to start.”
“This prevents conversations from happening quickly enough to develop relationships and become deal breakers.”
Sure, it may be years before you can see the true future with your partner, but women who want to give birth have to fight biology.
“Fertility opportunities for women are very limited in time,” says Jack.
“That is why, for many women and men, age is the most influential factor when it comes to considering it appropriate and necessary to have children.
“If you don’t have a lot of time to find a partner to have a child, many older people may pick up the subject before the younger ones involved.”
With that in mind, it’s a good idea to talk about your child if you’re a young couple or if you’re adopting and want to have a child without giving birth.
“Discussing the goals of the couple helps to strengthen the relationship, so the topic of children can be broken at any time,” says Jack.
“It doesn’t mean you start trying right away, but it does mean it’s part of your future and you want to be a part of this relationship.”
How to talk to your partner about having a child
Make this general decision
Jack proposes to make a common decision about whether to have children.
“Once you know how much you want to have children and how many children your partner wants, you can start planning,” she says.
“No matter what you decide, it’s important to make that decision together.”
This means interrupting the ultimatum, especially if it’s the first time you’ve discussed an issue.
“If you want to have more children than your partner, remember it should be an open conversation, not an ultimatum,” says Jack.
Explain why this is important to you.
“You can’t decide when and how to have a child, but it’s important to think about when and what both partners will do.”
it is important to listen
As with basic conversations, it is very important to listen to each other, as well as respect and empathize with each other.
Discuss others’ views on parenting and be as honest as possible, says Jack.
“Do it all: questions, fears, finances.
Even if your partner is 100% against the decision you want, it’s important that you listen to your partner with an open mind and show that you respect their wishes.
Ask your partner what is bothering him. If your partner isn’t ready to give birth, it’s important that you understand their concerns about the process.
Have a story to share?
Please contact us by email.
Source: Metro
I am currently a news writer for News Bulletin247 where I mostly cover sports news. I have always been interested in writing and it is something I am very passionate about. In my spare time, I enjoy reading and spending time with my family and friends.
