First of all, get the kids out of the room – I don’t want to receive a visit from the virtuous committee of the asshole inspectors, which has now activated its legal and police arms.
It appeared in the Federal Official Gazette on Wednesday (1): by determination of the Ministry of Justice, stores that sell crepes in the form of dicks and pussy had to hide their windows. And the signs on the facade, as they contain foul words.
It’s the government of the Federative Republic of Brazil activating the state apparatus to censor profanity, damn it! Holy shit, this is bizarre even for this government of burglars!
In this banana republic, fundamentalist dystopia cannot simply be oppressive and gloomy. It needs to be caricatured and grotesque, as if a snuff movie with Sergio Mallandro was directed by the SBT humor nucleus. We are painfully ridiculous. Roughly sick.
In the beginning, it was just an exotic initiative by an exotic councilor from the less exotic Londrina, in Paraná. An open lesbian, Jessicão (PP) drafted a bill to preventively prohibit the installation, in his city, of confectioneries specializing in crepirocas and crepepecas.
They are sweet and savory pasta, with various fillings, baked in molds that resemble penises and vulvas. The delicacy can be complemented with sweets (which represent pubic hair) and creams (which emulate secretions).
The screams of Odorica Paraguaçu from London reverberated in Sucupira, I mean Brasília. The most foul-mouthed president in history thought it was a good idea to point the cannons at a handful of merchants, as follows: La Putaria (Rio and Belo Horizonte), Assanhadx (São Paulo), Ki Putaria (Salvador) and La Pirokita (Maringá and Paranavaí ).
Only the store in São Paulo did not need to camouflage the sign, as its name is not an explicit allusion to the –sign of the cross– sex. All were prohibited from selling crepicas to minors under 18, something they no longer did.
Armed with black plastic and masking tape (look at the irony), the police descended as a chastity patrol in the same Ipanema that has already seen, between excitement and indifference, Gabeira sunbathing in a crocheted loincloth.
It’s disgusting to repeat that this is a diversionary tactic by a government beset by inflation – and by a president who will have to answer to justice when he loses his job. Because it’s not just that.
The highland scoundrels take advantage of these occasions to impose the retrograde agenda on issues that society, overwhelmed by the beating of bad news and nonsense, considers of low priority. And so we are consolidating the basis of the militia-militia theocracy.
They think it’s ok for a child to hold a rifle, but they are scandalized by the parts of the body that, according to Christian doctrine, God gave us to love and procreate. They say they are defenders of freedom of expression, but they get angry and tantrum when someone writes “whore” in the public square.
Go fuck yourselves.
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I am currently a news writer for News Bulletin247 where I mostly cover sports news. I have always been interested in writing and it is something I am very passionate about. In my spare time, I enjoy reading and spending time with my family and friends.
