Jair was on edge at the end of the year.
– I’m sad as hell.
Jair lost his job to his worst enemy, Luiz. Worse: he got involved with Justice and is afraid of going to jail.
– All Xandão’s fault.
Jair got it into his head that everything would work out if he went to live in the United States. There he had a great friend, Donald.
– I love you, Donald.
But the love was not reciprocal.
– Fuck off, stupid bastard.
Life on the stilts was not easy for Jair. He didn’t have a playpen. No one to suck up to Jair. Nobody wanted to talk to him.
– Eduardo, where is Michele?
– It’s at the mall, dad.
– Call me Ronaldo, then.
– Which Ronaldo?
– Ronaldo Santos, the governor here.
– Dad, Ron DeSantis blocked you on zap. I’ll see if Constantino can play hole with you.
– Don’t overdo it either, okay? Leave it there.
The lack of homemade food deepened Jair’s sadness.
– There is no farofa here. There’s no pastry. No cane juice. The pizza sauce is sweet.
To complicate matters further, the language was an insurmountable barrier. Jair didn’t understand a word of English. Speak, he just memorized the “I love you” for the ungrateful Donald.
Released in the United States, Jair could not buy a popsicle alone.
The children prepared a list for Jair to consult when he wanted to eat on the street. The English names of the most basic foods: bread, chocolate, cheese, potatoes, chicken.
They sent everything in a zap message to the father.
One morning, Jair felt hungry and took the risk of ordering something at a snack bar.
He glanced at his cell phone to see how he greeted the waitress.
– Gúdi mórnin.
– Good morning. Are you ready to order?
Jair looks at the list again.
– Bread with condensed milk, is it ok?
– Excuse me?
– Bread with fucking condensed milk!
The attendant didn’t understand anything. She backed away, startled, when Jair flew into a rage and started pounding the table.
Arriving back home, Jair slammed the door angrily.
– Is everything okay, dad?
– Dudu, do me a favor. Go fry a hamburger and stop pestering me.
The life of a fugitive abroad is no small cake.
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