Chilling cases of bullying of minors inside or outside of school that have come to light recently, are troubling and ringing more than one bell. Perhaps even more disturbing are the estimates of scientists regarding the incidents that never become known because the victims hide them deep in their souls.

One of the cases where the minor victim found the courage to confide what happened to him is that of the 15-year-old student, who was tied around the neck by his classmates during recess in a school hall, leaving him almost out of breath at the end before leaving the scene. The family’s lawyer, Spyros Dimitriou, clarifies speaking to APE-MPE that there will be a follow-up: “A lawsuit will be filed and we will request that the charge be upgraded to a felony from imminent bodily harm which the prosecutor is now investigating to attempted murder, while we will also begin the investigation criminal responsibilities on the part of the school, the teachers, the supervisors, the teachers on duty at the time of the break when the incident took place, the school clinic, the parents and guardians of the minors of the alleged perpetrators”.

After the incident, the child told the school that he had been hit and then described the moments he experienced to his parents, one that also had signs of injury on his neck. The case has now taken the path of justice and more developments are expected after the Easter days.

After the incident was publicized by the media, other parents have called Mr. Dimitriou’s office describing bullying incidents involving their children. He himself is awaiting the affidavits to see how these cases will proceed.

“It is a very difficult social phenomenon, youth crime is even more increased and it is not only for the imposition of violence or despotism, but the case of demonstration has also become popular because few of these incidents are not filmed by the children. Rather, the purpose is the video recording and the public and the patrol after and mission, humiliation of the victim”, emphasizes Spyros Dimitriou.

How can a parent spot the signs?

In the above case of the 15-year-old, the parents received information from their child on the same day, which made it much easier for them to deal with it both legally and in relation to the child’s psychology.

However, even if children do not speak, there are usually some warning signs that may help the parent understand that their child may be involved in bullying behavior, Dr. Antonia Torrens, educational psychologist, general director of KMOP, tells APE-MPE and responsible and creator of Live Without Bullying. The most common, Ms. Torrens says, are:

  • Is often moody, shy or tearful or bothers a younger sibling or friend
  • Makes excuses not to go to school, saying for example that he has a headache or a stomach ache
  • Looks upset after using the internet or mobile phone
  • He is secretive and unwilling to talk about his online activities
  • He bears various marks on his body and has unexplained bruises
  • He presents changes in his eating habits
  • Has worn clothes, broken items or loss of money
  • He has restless sleep
  • Young children often experience reflux in toilet matters and wet the bed
  • He feels loneliness, sadness, anxiety, shame
  • There is a sense that he is losing control of his actions
  • He feels anger towards people around him as well as towards himself/herself
  • He is socially withdrawn
  • He doesn’t want to go to school
  • He doesn’t do well in class
  • Manifests psychosomatic problems

In addition, there is also a proper way to approach children from parents, in case there is a suspicion that something is happening at school. “We try to start a gentle communication with them, without being interrupted by other obligations, showing a sincere interest in communication on our part, so that we understand exactly what has gone before. We give him time and space to think about how he would like to tell us what has happened, without constantly interrupting him with our own solutions to his problem. We avoid impulsive behaviors, and project a positive way of thinking, but without assuring that we will definitely find a solution to the problem. Bullying is a multifactorial phenomenon and often requires careful investigation of the reasons that led to it, as well as careful follow-up. Be careful though. If you feel that your child is in immediate danger, you need to act immediately by going to the school yourself and supporting them immediately,” Ms Torrens points out.

For the cases of bullying through the internet, which the majority of children now have access to, there are also some rules that parents can follow to be closer to their child and help them if needed.

“First let’s be aware of the sources of help where we can refer in case of need. We try to be aware of our own children about the websites they visit. We advise you not to give your personal information or password to unknown people. To keep proof of who they talked to, not to promote the same bad messages, not to upload photos of others without their permission. Remember that anything that goes online can stay there forever. Let the children themselves know that they can find detailed instructions on the website of the Prosecution of Electronic Crime, about the dangers that exist on the internet, but also about the instructions they can get in case they need it”, points out Mrs. Torrens.

The difficulties that students are likely to face at school are a significant source of stress for parents as well

“Parents’ biggest anxieties are usually related to how their children solve the problem. Some, for example, know that due to low self-confidence or sensitive character, their child is unable to assert his right by setting limits to others. They are afraid that the situation will get even worse and their child will refuse to talk, or even that he will harm himself. The parents who usually have this anxiety and ask us similar questions are also the ones who are more aware of the situation, so they are also receptive to understanding what they need to do from their side.”

Why don’t children talk?

As Ms Torrance says, children at an early stage believe that bullying is temporary, so they think the problem will go away. “The period towards adolescence is a time when children are particularly influenced by their peers and consider that as “little adults”, they must begin to solve the issues themselves. They may be influenced by the view of some parents who believe that “everyone has been bullied at some point” but they got over it on their own. The child in such a case does not want to appear cowardly in the eyes of the parent and in general does not want to burden him with extra worries. Let’s also not forget that at an advanced stage, the toxicity created by bullying is so great that individuals tend to believe that they may ultimately deserve the humiliation they receive from peers. This makes them even more closed in on themselves and very reluctant to accept help from third parties,” warns the expert.

In the nationwide Live Without Bullying program implemented since 2015 by KMOP, there is special training for parents, as well as separate training for teachers of all levels regarding all the steps that must be followed on both sides. These online trainings are recognized by the Ministry of Education, are provided free of charge and have so far helped thousands of people in our country alongside the Live Without Bullying counseling platform.