Grandmother follows her grandchildren’s growth on screens in different cities and countries

It was almost Christmas in Brazil. The Zelada family was already arranged around the dinner table with the supper ready: rice with almonds, turkey, sirloin, filet mignon with Madeira sauce and farofa. Nélida, 64, who lives in Campo Grande (MS), came to São Paulo to spend the end-of-year festivities with her children, Flávio, 38, and Sandro, 39, her sisters-in-law and her granddaughter, Ana Beatriz, one year old. and Midle.

The eldest daughter, Iris, 43, even more than 10,000 km away, was present. Through a WhatsApp video call, the translator who lives in California participated in the celebration alongside her husband and 6-year-old son Lucas.

“We miss them a lot. Glad we managed to see each other. Every day I thank our lady on the internet. As my two grandchildren have lived far away since they were born, one in the United States and the other in São Paulo, I can only follow the their development virtually”, says Nélida, who receives photos and videos of the children every day in the WhatsApp group she maintains with her children.

Calls take place both on special dates and on a daily basis. Children usually call the group call function, without prior notice, and whoever is free answers.

Among the group’s topics are Lucas’ maturation, new experiences and Bia’s first steps, as well as preparations for the wedding of Sandro, the middle child, scheduled for this month. “There we fight, cry and have fun”, summarizes the retired civil servant. It’s just not worth talking about politics — the topic has already been the subject of discussions. “Often the interpretation of text can be misinterpreted by WhatsApp,” she says.

Despite bringing her closer to her grandchildren — the youngest is even learning to speak and is already asking to call her grandmother —, virtual communication also has its negative aspects. “It’s not the same thing as a live meeting, it’s a cooler coexistence. Children are easily distracted by the video. Lucas, for example, doesn’t like to talk on the internet very much. I end up not having such a deep contact”, he says. Nelida.

Iris explains that the boy’s willingness to video chat depends on his mood and what he’s doing at the time of the call. “If you’re watching a movie, it’s difficult. Sometimes I have to explain: son, first let’s talk to grandma, she’s in another country, then you keep watching. But there are days when he doesn’t want to talk to anyone anyway.”

For her, virtual family communication has its advantages, such as being able to speak from anywhere and closing an issue when things are not going well. “All you have to do is invent a reason and press the red button”, says she, who is spending a season in Brazil to see her family again after a hiatus due to the pandemic. Among her negative points is not being able to kiss, hug or play with her niece, Bia.

After a year and a half of seeing each other only on screens, Lucas finally met his cousin, in May of this year: “When he called Bia on video, she still couldn’t talk or walk. I kiss her. Live is much better, because I can hug. I couldn’t over the phone”, says Lucas, with an American accent.

“Although we had never met in person, she recognized me right away because of the videos. It was as if we already knew each other”, adds Iris, who has lived in Australia, Brasília, Florianópolis and São Paulo and has the internet as a an old ally to kill the longing of the family.

Nélida has also been intimate with the internet for a good few years. After separating from her children’s father, Gerardo, in 1999, who died of cancer in 2011, she started to make friends in chat rooms and has already participated in a series of face-to-face meetings with friends that she carries to this day.