As a transgender person, I had to flee Saudi Arabia to live as myself.

The moment I first told my family that I felt like I was in the wrong body, they told me I was “crazy.”

It was absolutely terrifying to hear this so I never revealed it to him and I was deeply ashamed of what I was feeling.

At the age of 12, I was increasingly ashamed of my gender identity. The problem was that I lived in Saudi Arabia. It was illegal to be transgender there.

I wasn’t sure at the time, but I finally went to England and I felt that way.

My earliest memory was a feeling of gender awkwardness as a child. My family bought dolls and makeup sets, but I really wanted a remote car and a Ben 10 action figure.

From then on, the feeling of not belonging to this body became bigger and bigger. I wondered why and how, but I didn’t have the conscience or the words to understand.

Culturally, no one in Saudi Arabia is discussing it, especially the idea of ​​going to the doctor with a doctor.

It was a nightmare for me when people always treated me like a child. So I wanted to wake up and go back to my “real” body.

At the age of twelve, after failing to articulate gender identity, I realized that I was trapped.

I think I was about 15 years old when I correctly heard the word “transgender” on the internet and realized it was me. I knew I couldn’t ask for help or do anything about it, medically or legally, and it seemed terrible to me.

He had a lot of close friends, but they had to be hidden from everyone, so they didn’t know anything about what he was feeling.

I knew that if I went out with someone, they could kill me or send me to jail. So I decided that all I really needed to do was learn how to do it right.

It was a tragic situation, but he had no choice.

Meanwhile, I had a very special friend who I met through my cousin when I was eight years old. We always talked on the phone and we could really feel the intimacy of him.

When I was 16, I was relieved to say that I was in a trance. He really supported it all. In fact, we started the meeting. I felt like an angel sent to me from heaven.

Our relationship developed very quickly and quickly, but I was still showing a woman so no one could tell us about it, so it seems like we were in a same-sex relationship.

So we decided to leave the country together. I moved to the UK because I wanted to start my medical journey as soon as possible and have a family with my partner.

We were able to save money and plan our trip as carefully as possible.

As soon as I turned 18, I left Saudi Arabia and arrived in London in 2019. We both applied for asylum on the same day.

We were scared, but in the end we were relieved to discover that we were in a place where we felt safer and truer. We help each other overcome.

The Home Office took us to a hostel in London, but I didn’t feel safe as an LGBTQ+ person because there weren’t any other transgender people there.

At that time, I contacted Micro Rainbow, which provides a safe haven for asylum seekers and refugees. I learned about them through an online search for organizations.

After contacting them, the organization took us to Birmingham and we are still there today.

Since our first arrival in the UK, we haven’t really felt like we can get our lives off to a good start, as we are still in an uncertain state awaiting a decision.

She wanted to start a transition journey, like accessing hormones on the NHS, but the waiting list for the Gender Identity Clinic is too long.

Because of this, I couldn’t wait any longer and couldn’t afford to go to a private clinic, so I started taking testosterone independently.

It’s not completely safe to do so and I know it, but I also know I can’t stand it. It needs to be executed, but the cost is so high that it saves money and pays.

Waiting for a decision is a stressful time. But after all, we no longer fear for our lives, as the UK is a freer country and generally very sporty for the LGBTQ+ community.

Nearly two and a half years later, the Home Office finally had a second interview two months ago. I’m glad I finally saw the progress of the app.

I hope the decision is made soon, but the most important thing is that I am safe.

He will not be able to return to Saudi Arabia in the near future. I still hope that everything will change in my country and that one day I can enter it as my true self.

Donations can be made to help Giovanni access surgery based on gender. Click here for the GoFundMe page..