Not knowing how to swim and carrying her daughter Eloah, 1 year and 11 months in her arms, Thais Natali Montenegro Lenda, 23, struggles to cross the waters of the Rio Grande, on the border between Mexico and the United States, in Texas.
The child swallows water and Thais’ husband, Daniel Lenda, struggles, making every effort not to submerge. Daniel walks away, disappears, and only mother and daughter make it to the American side of the border.
Rescue teams spent more than an hour maneuvering to revive the child. Thais says that the girl was taken to the hospital, but could not resist.
Daniel’s body was found four days later. Father and daughter were cremated with the money Thais raised through virtual crowdfunding and donations from local church leaders. After more than a month traveling by bus from São Paulo, this is how the family’s dream of having a better life in the United States ended.
Today, Thais has moved to another state, where she intends to start her life over after being sponsored by an American family. She says that she is still very fragile because of the tragedy, but agreed to tell in an interview with BBC News Brazil what led the family to try to make the crossing and the moments of despair she experienced when she saw her husband and daughter die.
How it all began
Thais says that she did not have her father’s presence in her childhood. She was raised by her mother and great-aunt in Osasco, Greater São Paulo. At age 17, she started college in psychology while working as a commercial assistant at an American multinational. She took the course for two and a half years, but stopped because she was no longer able to pay.
In 2021, Thais graduated in the area and, subsequently, did an MBA in finance and controllership.
Daniel, on the other hand, left Angola in 2015, motivated by economic instability and the fear of a new civil war. He lived for a year in Rio de Janeiro and then moved to São Paulo, where he met Thais. One of his goals was to study Electrical Engineering.
Thais says she didn’t feel comfortable when her husband said he wanted to leave everything and live in the United States.
“He told me: ‘We’ll make it, don’t worry. My brother will help us. He will too.’
Daniel’s brother even sold a beauty salon, car and furniture to make the trip, according to Thais. But he was studying engineering at a federal university and gave up leaving Brazil a few days before departure.
Thais, her daughter and her husband started their trip to the United States by taking a flight from São Paulo to Peru, in January 2022, after three months of planning. They sold furniture and personal effects to save as much money as possible.
She says that the couple donated much of what they had before going and cried when talking about her husband’s generosity.
“He was very friendly. Anyone who came to talk, he helped. Daniel was always willing to help people with food, clothes, everything”, she said, moved.
According to her, Daniel dreamed of living in the United States to get a good job that would provide a better life for his family.
From Lima, the capital of Peru, they continued their journey by bus. Upon arriving in Panama, they spent five days at a refugee center, where they received food and medical care funded by the United Nations (UN).
The couple then spent a month in the state of Chiapas, Mexico, until they received a tourist visa to stay in the country. On March 13, as soon as the documentation was issued, Daniel suggested that they travel to the city of Acuña, on the US border.
“My husband and daughter were very happy and playing. It was a different atmosphere. My daughter stayed by my side. She spent the whole time with me”, recalls Thais.
Thais says that the family did not have enough money to stay and stayed at the house of an acquaintance of her husband, who has lived in Acuña for many years. She says she has not been helped by coyotes, as people in the border region are known to help migrants enter the country illegally.
the crossing
The only night in Acuña was one of fights and arguments between the couple, according to Thais, because her husband insisted that the family cross the river to reach the United States.
“I don’t know where his idea came from. I said: ‘Love, why do you want to cross that river? You said you wanted to stay here in Acuña to work, to have a better life. Why do you want to cross that river so badly?’ He said that there was already Texas and that even the residents were crossing it”, she says with emotion.
She claims that the trauma of the accident erased part of her memories of that moment. But she narrates in detail what she remembers of her last moments with her husband and daughter.
“He (Daniel) asked me to enter a narrow street. He said: ‘Love, this is where everyone crosses, come with me'”, he says.
She says that it was dawn and that the river was in fact very shallow at the beginning.
“When we started to cross, it was at foot level. I was nervous, and he (Daniel) had our daughter on his back, in addition to some personal things. I went after him. There was no one around. There was no guide, no coyotes. I didn’t know that there was a coyote region. We were crossing and, when we were three or four steps away from reaching the United States, the river level increased a lot and reached below the knee”, he says.
She says that, at that moment, she felt afraid and said she wanted to give up the crossing.
“My husband was always very stubborn. Afterwards, he slipped on a rock. I don’t think he had seen the rocks. So we fell, and I was taken by him to the bottom of the water. I don’t know how to explain what I lived there. . It was a matter of seconds. My husband holding me. I was already at the bottom and he was pulling me up by the braids “, she said.
Thais says that her husband was holding his daughter in his arms when she saw that the child was drowning and asked him to pass her on to her.
“It was a terrifying situation. I said: ‘Daniel, hold my hand. Look at me’, and his eyes were all white, without conscience. I think he drank a lot of water. I said: ‘Lolô is not breathing ‘. When he heard that, I didn’t see my husband anymore,” she recalls.
She says she said a prayer and, at that moment, she felt a hand pulling her from behind. And, after a few moments, she began to feel the stones on the ground and managed to complete the crossing with her daughter in her arms.
She says she sought help and was helped by the coast guard around 6am. Thais says that there were no other people close by. And that she felt a “sense of abandonment” when she saw her daughter dying in the hospital after a series of resuscitation attempts.
illegal Brazilians
The region where the family crossed the border is known for the illegal crossing of immigrants.
The number of Brazilians illegally crossing the southern border of the United States hit an all-time high in fiscal year 2021 (which runs from October 1, 2020 to September 30, 2021). In all, 56,881 were detained, an increase of 700% over the same period in 2020.
The data was released on October 22, 2021 by the US Customs and Border Protection agency.
Today, Thais says she would like her testimony to serve as an example so that other Brazilians do not try to enter the United States illegally.
“I would like to ask these people not to follow this path. You have to do it correctly, go to the consulate. It is expensive, but safety and care are what matter,” he says.
She says that, since arriving in the United States, she has not received help from the Brazilian government. There was only one contact from an employee of the Itamaraty emergency department.
Sought, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs (MRE) informed in a note that “it is aware of the case and, through the consulate general in Houston, provides the appropriate assistance, in accordance with local legislation and international treaties in force”.
The folder also states that “detailed information can only be passed on with the authorization of those involved. Thus, the MRE will not be able to provide specific data on individual cases of assistance to Brazilian citizens”.
BBC News Brasil also contacted US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), but there was no response.
Restart in the United States
After crossing the border, Thais is now looking to get back on her feet emotionally and follow her family’s plans to live in the United States.
After a court decision, she says she was allowed to stay in the country for at least two years, taken in by a family. During this period, this family will sponsor Thais and will be responsible for her permanence.
Thais says she feels relieved to have been welcomed. Otherwise, she would be sent to a women’s detention center, where illegal immigrants are taken.
“I even had suicidal thoughts. I had a feeling of guilt. I just wanted to thank the Brazilians here, the Brazilian community in the UK, Portugal and Australia who helped me, sent messages”, he says.
Thais says she just wants to be respected, get a job, study and move on with life.
“I want people to look more lovingly at immigrants. Right here it was built by immigrants. São Paulo is only São Paulo, with more knowledge and wealth, through immigrants. How many Italians and Japanese went to São Paulo to get a better life? ? No country grows alone, without immigrants.”
