The 10 ways to deal with rudeness

If you’ve ever driven on the road during rush hour or walked into a crowded store, you’re probably well aware that rude people are everywhere.

Whether it’s an offensive and rude comment or a derogatory treatment, rudeness is pervasive and sometimes permeates the workplace.

But there are some tried-and-true methods you can use to handle rude people, whether it’s a stranger, a social media troll, a grumpy coworker, or a quick-tempered friend.

1. Realize that rudeness is nothing new.

Rudeness seems to be part of human nature. Rude behavior can easily become a habit for many people. We often simply overlook or forget the importance of showing kindness, sympathy and understanding to others.

Rude behavior is contagious: It tends to cause other negative behavior as well. But if we can see that these negative behaviors are undermining our productivity, happiness, and health, we can recognize the importance of stopping such behavior. Rudeness is nothing new, but that doesn’t mean we have to continue the cycle of meanness and anger.

2. Stop the spiral of rudeness.

Rude behavior can spread like a disease if you let it. One act of rudeness can easily spiral into other acts of rudeness, spreading bad mood and bad behavior in its wake.

It’s easy to see how this happens. A rude driver cuts you off on the way to work, causing you to feel annoyed. Chances are, you’ll lash out at your co-workers, and you might find yourself “grabbing” with them for no real reason. So your colleagues feel sad, and thus they become grumpy and rude to others. And the thing goes on.

You have the power to stop this cycle of rudeness. With a little empathy you can neutralize rudeness with kindness.

3. Don’t take rudeness personally.

The first step to stopping the cycle of rudeness is to stop taking the rude behavior of others personally. We all have bad days when everything seems to be going wrong. It’s very tempting to lash out at the world or the person closest to you at the time.

This happens to all of us, so if we realize that the hurtful and negative person may just be having a bad day, we may see things differently. You can often break the cycle of rudeness by avoiding responding to bad behavior with negativity.

4. Respond to rudeness with kindness.

Don’t let a rude person make you respond with even more rudeness. One of the best ways to counteract rude and negative behavior is to stay friendly and positive. This gives the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behavior to match yours. Kindness can be a wonderful antidote to rudeness.

Showing kindness to someone who is mean or abusive to others can be extremely difficult. But by adopting a calm and benevolent attitude, you can motivate them to follow your lead. If that doesn’t work, you can take pride in knowing you didn’t drop your level.

5. Use humor to deal with a difficult person.

A rude and difficult person can create tension and stress in himself and everyone around him. Remember that he is probably being rude because he is angry or upset about something that is going on. Humor can create a distraction and break the tension, allowing everyone to laugh.

You can do this by finding a way to laugh at a common situation or by making fun of a common experience that you can all relate to.

6. Confront the rude person.

Another tactic to stop the rudeness spiral is to simply confront the rude person and ask them to stop. If someone you can’t get away from is constantly being rude to you, you need to address the issue immediately. You don’t have to take constant abuse from anyone. You must not allow anyone to treat you with disrespect.

Have a discussion about what’s going on. Does this person realize how much their actions hurt you? Maybe he hasn’t realized how rude he is. By pointing out the problem, you give him a chance to apologize and try to be nicer.

7. Don’t escalate the situation.

When someone bothers you, the instinctive reaction may be to fight back. But remember, you are always in control of yourself. Choose not to give in to the drama. Regardless of how another person acts, you control your own behavior.

Keep your cool. Take a deep breath and give yourself space to calm down if someone has upset you. Remember, you don’t have to stoop to his level, and doing so will likely make things worse. Maintain your dignity and show superiority.

8. Show empathy and sympathy.
Showing empathy requires trying to understand why the other person is being rude. Perhaps this person is dealing with a difficult situation in their personal life or feels pressured by deadlines piling up at work. If you can find a way to show that you understand and care about him and what he’s going through, he’ll feel less alone in his struggles.

If you know someone is having a hard time, tell them you understand. Don’t judge him for a bad day.

9. Be a good role model.

People have various ulterior motives behind the way they act. Some people use rude behavior as a way to exercise dominance or demonstrate power. They may be trying to provoke a reaction from you and make you look bad. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you get angry.

By being a good role model and treating everyone with fairness, kindness and empathy, you show the kind of behavior you expect from those around you.

10. Avoid the rude person.

When all else fails, keep in mind that sometimes it’s best to walk away. If you’ve done your best to make the person aware of their actions, and if you’ve tried to show kindness and empathy, that person may not be able to treat you (and others) with kindness.

By avoiding people who are usually rude, you deprive them of their audience and give them fewer targets to attack. The lack of an audience will also defuse the situation. If everyone around them starts moving away, maybe that will make them understand. And if not, at least it will help everyone else have a better day.

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