Yes, it is a “tricky” question, which is why the opinion of the experts is so important. Ten relationship experts weighed in on whether flirting counts as infidelity.

It depends on the intention

Intentions are half the truth in human relationships. There is a possibility that someone is flirting for the sake of confirmation. Just enough to check if he still has the skills to do it successfully, without aiming in any case to progress the situation. On the other hand, he may simply be a very friendly person whose manner translates to flirting to some. Regardless, if a behavior is causing issues in the relationship, it comes to the table and requires a serious discussion.

It’s not technically infidelity, but that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt someone

Shlomo Slatkin makes it clear that in practice, flirting is not infidelity. Especially if it stays only in the communication part. Still, interest in another person may hurt the flirt’s partner, and perhaps not unjustly. Anything that requires effort and romance outside of a relationship is a concern for many people out there.

For some couples, flirting brings some interest into the relationship

On the other hand, for some couples, flirting can bring excitement. Especially, in a relationship of many years. In any case, the issue of boundaries comes to the fore again. These things must be organized and move according to some ‘rules’ so that neither of them gets hurt.

It depends on the rules and restrictions in relationships

According to Tiffany C. Brown, flirting can definitely be considered infidelity. On the one hand because it can violate the rules of a relationship, on the other hand because for some it is perceived as a lack of respect.

It’s not infidelity, but it can jeopardize the other person’s trust

Flirting is by no means infidelity. Some people are naturally charismatic, communicative and love to flirt. Nevertheless, it is important to separate – always through communication – from behaviors that can be a blow to the trust in a relationship.

It should be part of any healthy relationship

Ingrid Sthare believes that flirting should be part of every relationship. He bases this view on the fact that it gives people confidence to feel that they have the potential to be lustful. In any case, the rules of this harmless flirting should have been set by the couple so that there is no jealousy. Because obviously jealousy has no place in any healthy and happy relationship.

It’s not officially infidelity, but it has the same dynamics

For Christie Tcharkhoutian, flirting has the same dynamics as infidelity. When you find yourself flirting with someone other than your partner, you should ask yourself two simple questions: (1) What am I getting out of this? Confirmation; Respect? (2) What I gain, am I missing from my relationship with my partner? (3) How can I incorporate them into the way I communicate with my partner?

If you don’t do it when your partner is around, don’t do it in general

Sophia Reed expressed a point that may have crossed your mind as you read this text: That infidelity is a physical process is simply a misconception. Many believe that even thinking romantically about a person outside of their relationship could be considered infidelity. A management measure would be to simply think about whether you would flirt with someone else in front of your partner. If not, it’s obviously a behavior that deep down, you don’t consider “correct”.

If the flirting is hidden and crosses the line, it’s a blow to trust

By the same token, flirting secretly creates trust issues. And to you and your partner. When boundaries are crossed, tensions, secrets, and real problems ensue. At this stage, the last thing you care about is whether or not your move is officially labeled “infidelity”?

Most people see flirting as a threat

Flirting for many translates as a matter of choice. The partner chose another person and not themselves. No one is saying that this is the truth, but that is where the mechanisms of the brain lead. So if someone is hurt by such behavior, they should automatically walk off the table in a relationship.